Uncle Bud

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Saint » Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:40 pm

The one who just came flying out the window? I've seen that before.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:40 am

That was my favorite...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crotch » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:14 pm

FWIW...... Here's a pic of a good friend of mine I grew up with who pilots the Airbus a380 based in Seattle, Washington. His regular flights are west coast to Hawaii. Last year, he flew the Seattle Seahawks to the Super Bowl game. Back during Desert Storm, he flew troops to Iraq and Saudi Arabia. On his way back from one of those flights, he got special permission from the FAA in Indianapolis to circle our little town for about 10 minutes. He was low enough you could see the name on the plane. Just about everyone was outside starring at the sky trying to figure out why a plane of that size was circling and flying so low. We all thought it was trying to make an emergency landing but no way our little 1/2 mile airport runway could support that. Later found out the FAA gave him a chewing out because he was circling lower that the allowed limit they allowed. He's always said the toughest place he's ever landed was on an airstrip on one of the Islands in Hawaii. Says the crosswinds will play havoc with every landing.

Image

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:35 pm

Did he get an ear full from Ice Man?

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crotch » Thu Dec 18, 2014 4:56 pm

As a sidenote to the pic, his nephew was a drummer with Jerry Reed and also worked with Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Marty Stewart and Trvis Tritt. Used to enjoy going to HS basketball games back in the early 70's and watching him perform at halftime with the HS band. Not bad talent coming out of our little burg.

Ric McClure

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by 10ac » Thu Dec 18, 2014 9:54 pm

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See what you did, crotch.
Let 'er Blow!

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:05 pm

Asshole

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crotch » Fri Dec 19, 2014 1:35 am

Heh...... It worked fine when I first posted it.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:17 am

Viewing a picture from Crotch's younger days requires time travel, not bandwidth...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crashcourse » Wed Dec 31, 2014 12:59 pm

so last night was our first night alone in 2 weeks after the kids left set the house alarm went to bed--I kind of live out in the boonies so a house alarm is a necessary requirement in crackhead kansas.
So we do the nasty and fall asleep naked.

230 something sets the alarm. Ive lived in this house for 10 years and the only time it ever went off is when my semidemented motherinlaw tried to wonder out the door and this was earlier in the evening many years ago. At 230 in the morning if you've ever heard a Central security alarm it has this piercing wale that sounds like you just broke into a nuclear warhead site.

I leaped out of bed screaming at the wife to call 911 and I went for my gun --a 9mm baretta i'v had for 2 years. my wife is petrified of guns and doesnt know I have one until that instant when she sees me jumping up and down stark naked trying to locate this gun case ii have buried under a bunch of ball caps on top of my amoire. after two rather impotent attempts I climb the amoire by stepping on the middle shelf and grab the case and set it down ---hearing my wife also stark naked btw talking to the 911 dispatcher about how her idiot husband has a gun and doesnt know how to use it (I spent 21 years in the military with a baretta but of course my wife doesnt think about that)

So I have the baretta locked and loaded aimed in the general vicinity of our bedroom door with the wife behind me on the phone to the dispatcher with this piercing siren wailing throu the house. Finally 3 minutes after the first siren Central security calls my cell --they couldnt get thru on our landline and tells me which zone the alarm was tripped--turns out its the sliding glass patio door in the kitchen which I could see from my upstairs bedroom and didnt looked tampered with at all.

Now the fact is it was 0 degrees outside, I can see where the breach was supposed to be and everything looked fine--common sense and lack of fear took over and i knew it was a false alarm. somebody would have to be an idiot to be out at 230 AM in 0 degrees
the wife then told me the dispatcher says the county sheriffs ETA was 60 seconds and I realized they better be aware that I was putting the gun away before they came in thinking an idiot husband had a loaded handgun trying to protect his loved ones.

so I put the gun away thru some sweats on , and the 911 dispatcher relayed it to the sherriff who pulled into the driveway and I met him and we walked the property and didnt find a single issue. After he leaves telling me to contact my security my wife who is deadset against guns was as turned on for some reason she gives it to me again twice as horny as the first time

so throughout this adventure that spanned the gammit of emotions I still have that age old question--what the hell makes women tick. I was sure the fact I had concealed this gun for 2 years would infuriate her but I guess the sight of a naked middle aged man climbing a amoire and locking and loading a 9mm in a firing position did something. Im just glad I didnt shoot my nuts off

and that is how I spent this early morning

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by 10ac » Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:18 pm

LMAO!!!
Let 'er Blow!

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by SnoodGator » Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:55 pm

More proof that these boards are priceless. Happy new year to all who post, argue, critique, admin, conflate, bloviate, edit, sass, lie, or merely read.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:02 pm

That was a far better way to end this year of posting in the Goat Pen than the scotch cocktail/grammar kerfluffle. Good work, crash...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Bklyn » Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:40 pm

Well done, crash. You're better than Pistorius.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crashcourse » Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:49 pm

heh

didnt think about his dumbass--maybe thats why the wife was so grateful--she was happy I spared her!

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Bklyn » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:14 pm

LMAO
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:15 pm

Crash is an older eCat

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Wed Dec 31, 2014 10:20 pm

Fucking A, I was halfway home from work and the town clerk called my cell and told me our building was on fire. By the time I got back, the smoke was so thick I could barely see to get onto the yard, fire trucks everywhere. It wasn't the building, but the beans in one of the elevators had caught fire. Luckily it was the drying elevator, only had about 3000 bushels in it, they hosed it down from the top and we opened the doors on the bottom and let the beans pour out. The burnt beans had caked up so we had to poke the holes continuously so they would come out, all black and sticky and greasy and black grease smoke billowing everywhere. Fucking mess. So here I sit, black as sin, clothes ruined and haven't even had a beer yet. What a great way to end this shitty year...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Wed Dec 31, 2014 10:33 pm

I'm not sure who would be more alarmed - you seeing a robber or a robber seeing a buck naked couple pointing a gun at him

at least put on a furry costume or something


sorry to hear about the baked beans episode Hedge - I know back in my farm days we always had to keep a fan going in the corn silo to keep it from catching on
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by sardis » Thu Jan 01, 2015 3:32 am

hedge wrote:Fucking A, I was halfway home from work and the town clerk called my cell and told me our building was on fire. By the time I got back, the smoke was so thick I could barely see to get onto the yard, fire trucks everywhere. It wasn't the building, but the beans in one of the elevators had caught fire. Luckily it was the drying elevator, only had about 3000 bushels in it, they hosed it down from the top and we opened the doors on the bottom and let the beans pour out. The burnt beans had caked up so we had to poke the holes continuously so they would come out, all black and sticky and greasy and black grease smoke billowing everywhere. Fucking mess. So here I sit, black as sin, clothes ruined and haven't even had a beer yet. What a great way to end this shitty year...
I'm sure Mr. Drucker can find you some new digs at the General Store...

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