The Goat Pen

it was spring break

my buddy's all about the male bonding experience, crack a few brews & reminisce about the glory days of eiffel towering a chick or tagging in & out.... swords dont necessarily have to cross

it went according to plan, it never came up because she has transitioned from a hoe to a housewife so I'm pretty sure any kind of 3rd person action (be it male or female) is off the table, I'm certainly not going to bring it up

i did talk to my other buddy (who is married & saw them the night before), we both agreed that if they marry it will still be a worthy event due to the open bar & guest list, we're going to have to BS our way through our speeches since we wont really mean any of it, but by the time were on the mic we will both be more than halfway sloshed.

eCat wrote:it was spring break

Gotcha. My 1st Spring Break was in Ft. Lauderdale back when I was a junior in high school. Took a 41 hour Greyhound ride from Cincy to FTL. I once woke up to 11 naked people sleeping on the floor as I tried to go pee. Never made it. Went off the balcony. 12 stories up. Some down below probably was surprised it was raining.

Those sleeping people left with temporary sharpie tattoos btw.

I've done the same room thing but always had to be quiet about it. I've never seen anyone else's hard dick besides my own and hope to keep it that way. (my 5-year-old son with a piss boner doesn't count)

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"I once woke up to 11 naked people sleeping on the floor as I tried to go pee. Never made it. Went off the balcony. 12 stories up. Some down below probably was surprised it was raining."

It's raining ham!!!

Heh

did a vegas call girl while my buddy (who'd just hit a lick at the tables and was treating) did her partner in the bed beside us....i was 3/4 drunk and i guess nervous @ the situation and couldn't get a nut, so consequently my buddy finished first, by a long damn sight, then got talked into another go w/ his ho, and finished AGAIN (dude had a problem....no wonder he never kept a girl) before me, so his whore, in a real rough, raspy, smoked a million cigarettes, growl of a voice, proceeded to start cheerleading me in an effort to, i guess, try to hurry the process along: "Oh yeah...she's loving that....watch her squirm....whoa boy, that's giving it too her....she loves that long stroking....<sure you're not up to a 3rd one, doll?>...GOTTDAMN he's tearing that pussy up!...your new boobs look great, gina....etc. etc."

i didn't care for the entire deal....i'm not cut out for porndom and/or swinging is what that episode taught me, which surprised me because a few years before this i had an experience at the lake that i enjoyed the hell out of where i fucked the sass out of an older girl (27 or so, i was 22ish) in the middle of a tent full of h.s. senior girls (or recently graduated i should say since it was the summer). we tried being quiet, but the squeaky lawn chair gave us away, because the next day the young girls told us to find another tent for that night

The next time I am having sex with my girlfriend, I am going to stop mid stroke and do nothing. When she ask what I am doing, I am going to tell her to hush, "I saw this on Pornhub"."It's called buffering".

Heh

like getting a nut is easier with a cheering section

AugustWest wrote:The next time I am having sex with my girlfriend, I am going to stop mid stroke and do nothing. When she ask what I am doing, I am going to tell her to hush, "I saw this on Pornhub"."It's called buffering".

That was funny as hell.

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

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I had a Vegas fail, too, but mine was due to ingesting way too much blow before the hookers arrived. 2 chicks, 3 dudes (well, 5 but 2 weren't paying and tried to pretend to be asleep before they started giggling too much and the pros threw them out). I picked the hot one but had to wait for my BJ until my buddy fucked her. I had no problem getting it up but that poor girl sucked my schlong for 20 min. and I knew there would be no payload for her (esp. since I was wearing a rubber) so I asked her to jack me off and that didn't work. so I finally just said, "tickle my nuts for 10 min. and we're good." by the time she was done, I just wanted to do more blow.

You wore a rubber for a BJ?