The Goat Pen

Gentlemen, despite the consensus Top 25 rankings and Phil Steele losing his damn mind when it comes to UNC (he has a history of doing this), the Tar Heels are in serious fucking trouble.

There is a high likelihood that the starting left tackle will be a true freshman.

The center position and right side of the line is in some transition as well.

There will likely be two redshirt freshmen starting on the defensive line. Yes, the 4-2-5 runs a de as a hybrid de/lb (not unlike an outside LB in a 3-4), but the small stature of this line is astounding.

Fall camp concluded today and despite the fact that Marquise Williams showed a lot of promise against scrub competition in the second half of the season (Dook--FUCKING DOOK--was the best opponent we played in the second half, and it wasn't even close.), no starting quarterback has been named.

Liberty (August 30): Win. The Fighting Falwells may be hoping for a miracle out of the Book of Revelation, but it isn't happening.

San Diego State (September 6): Likely Win. This has trap game written all over it. The Heels should win on paper, but this team is young and will overlook opponents. This game scares me.

East Carolina (September 20): Toss Up. This could be a barn burner. If the Heels don't stop Carden, it will be a long night in Greenville. The Heels should win this game if they focus and prepare accordingly, but they didn't last year. It was sad.

Clemson (September 27): Likely Loss. This won't be as bad as the past two trips (two trips I regrettably made), but I don't see how the Heels pull this one out unless they have a lot of lucky breaks go their way and move the ball. Clemson loses a lot on offense, but they're going to have a stellar defense.

Virginia Tech (October 4): Toss Up. This one is too close to call. I am hoping the Heels do the Lord's Work and trounce that lying sack of shit Beamer, but VT has a fucking horseshoe up their arse.

Notre Dame (October 11): Toss Up. Yeah, Notre Dame is better on paper, but aside from the four leaf clover that was lodged up Brian Kelly's ass in 2012, Kelly has consistently failed to impress there. The Heels' spread offense might just lead the Heels to victory for the first time ever in South Bend and set the wheels in motion for another Notre Dame coaching search debacle.

Georgia Tech (October 18): Win. There. I said it. The Heels will beat Georgia Tech for the first time since 2008 and only the third time since the 90's (Yeah, we have really sucked). The years of recruiting woes will leave Georgia Tech without the horses to run the option effectively. The GT Defense will have issues with the UNC offense. Carolina will win 34-27. Paul Johnson will have a heart attack and enter cardiac arrest.

Virginia (October 25): Likely Win. Is Mike London still the coach in Charlottesville? I just don't see the Heels dropping this one, but after three straight losses to UNC, the 'Hoos will be ready. I am hoping they are dejected and in the midst of coaching turmoil by the time UNC rolls north.

Miami (November 1): Toss Up. The Heels will be hungry, and there is no way that Miami will have as much luck as last season. However, they have Duke Johnson at running back, and Mother Teresa's corpse could run for 100 yards against the UNC DL. So, UNC could lose this one late in a game where Miami just wears the Heels down by pounding the ball.

Pittsburgh (November 15): Win. Yes, Pitt will want revenge for last year, but I just don't see them pulling it off in Chapel Hill.

Dook (November 20): Toss-Up. I miss the days when this was a guaranteed win. That bastard Cutcliffe (I only call him a bastard because of his employer. He seems like a decent person) has done more there than anyone thought possible. The Heels will be coming off of a game five days earlier against Pitt, but Dook will have a big game against VT. There is a possibility for a letdown from both teams (especially Dook since they will be playing a pivotal division game...that's sad but true), but I don't see it happening. This game will be filled with cheap shots from Dook and a few sporting actions from Tar Heels players.

NCSU (November 27): Win. Doeren has Shadrach Thornton at RB, but Thornton will likely find a way to get arrested between now and then. This game will have all of the love and affection one would expect from such an in-state rivalry. State will be pumped up after the Heels thoroughly mocked the Woofies (and deservedly so) following last year's game, but I don't see State having the horses to stay ahead long term without some major UNC miscues.

Best Case Scenario:

Overall: 10-2 (6-2) Coastal Champions

Bowl: Orange. FSU goes to the Final Four and we go to the Orange (Orange has to have an ACC team even if the conference champion is in the semi-finals) to party on South Beach like Don Johnson circa 1986.

Homer Projection:

Overall: 9-3 (5-3)

Bowl: Russell Athletic. Get your mouse ears out, bitches. We're going to Orlando.

Realistic:

Overall: 7-5/8-4 (4-4) (ECU is the swing game)

Bowl: Nashville. Hee Haw. Let's stop by Dollywood on the way into town!

I thought you were a fan of the other Carolina fan when it came to football...

That preview is coming later...

Hey DS, you are not nearly as fucked as BC is.

Did your starting offense have nine fucking turnovers in your intra-squad scrimmage on Saturday? If not, would you care to guess which ACC team did?

How are we in serious trouble if the best case scenario is 10-2?

That's the best case scenario, and it is highly unlikely. This is a 7 or 8 win club, and when your coach is in his third year, that is concerning. Then again, Spurrier's third year at SC was a 6-6 disaster, and Saban "only" went 10-3 in his third year.

Jesus H Christ, you play in the easiest division in the P5. I'm just hoping every damn team in the division goes 4-4....hell it's possible.

KeviNole wrote:Jesus H Christ, you play in the easiest division in the P5. I'm just hoping every damn team in the division goes 4-4....hell it's possible.

Well, with our lines in flux like they are, I would call 5-7/6-6 in a good division. However, we're headed to 4-4 in conference and 3-1 in non-conference with a loss at ECU.

Jesus. This team needs help. Fedora needs to scrap the two qb bullshit and let a starter established a rhythm. The defense fucking sucks. I hope this was just a case of Week One jitters, but I am afraid this is just a continuation of past issues. The stupid penalties are still killing us as well.

DooKSucks wrote:Jesus. This team needs help. Fedora needs to scrap the two qb bullshit and let a starter established a rhythm. The defense fucking sucks. I hope this was just a case of Week One jitters, but I am afraid this is just a continuation of past issues. The stupid penalties are still killing us as well.

uuuuhhh, didn't you just kick the living crap out of Liberty?

DS is back to rooting for UNC football?

Confusing

Liberty was ahead by one midway through the third quarter. UNC then scored 21 in three minutes to put the game out of reach. Liberty put together some long drives and was able to run against the DL. UNC never put together any clock eating drives. The eight scoring drives took a total of ten minutes. The defense needs more help and production. We are in trouble.

ECU just scored again...

too bad augie is no longer around to add insightful commentary on the current academic issues

What are we up to? Something like 13,000 cases of academic fraud over 20 years?

Anyone have a clip of SNL making fun of the UNC scandal?

UNC mention at about 3:30: http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/10/ ... ic-scandal

20 years of cheating, now it all makes sense. I'd never heard about North Carolina in 1994.