The Goat Pen

you know you've been married a long time when your wife is standing next to you and you pick up a pair of pants off the floor and smell the crotch to see if they are clean

I did that on my honeymoon.

once when I was working for a heating/AC company in town when I took a semester off college, I went to a residence. I was the helper dude so I mostly stood around and fetched tools and looked for ways to alleviate my boredom. We were in this house, on the not-upscale side of town but still not a bad neighborhood. From the photos on the wall, I could tell it was a young couple and the wife, in a sort of curvy, country way, was pretty hot. later on, I was in their bathroom and noticed a pair of her panties in the hamper and, naturally, I picked them up and took a big whiff. unfortunately, what met my olfactory glands was a mixture not of sweet poontang but one of sour, shitty smell that made me nearly vomit in their bathtub. I was so overcome that I didn't drop the offensive undies as I gagged and the dude I was working with (who would not have been amused) nearly walked in on me while I was still holding them.

that was a helluva a lesson to learn but I'm pretty sure if I was in the same situation again, I'd bury my nose in some drawers

eCat wrote:you know you've been married a long time when your wife is standing next to you and you pick up a pair of pants off the floor and smell the crotch to see if they are clean

ROTFLMAO

Two great tales from Stu in two days! He's on fire!

Stu wins

I am going to go out on a limb here and think that even Megan Fox's undies smell pretty rank after wearing them all day.

BigRedMan wrote:I am going to go out on a limb here and think that even Megan Fox's undies smell pretty rank after wearing them all day.

but we all know there is only one way to find out

for those of you with kids, if you don't know this you will

a jar of peanut butter has basically doubled in price. We normally buy a two pack of large jars, like 40oz or so and it was $14 at the store yesterday.

I'm not an underwear sniffer--at least, not in the context of just grabbing a pair from any old place. I'd have to know where they've been in advance. A pair that just came out of the wash, for example, or a pair that Salli Richardson just took off. Like that.

But eCat's right... no risk no reward. Sometimes you just have to flip a coin.

Stu is one sick mother fucker.

CAT wrote:---if it lasts that long--need to get more crabs!

There's a real bad joke (not quite) buried in there.

Peanut Butter

Yeah, I read a few months ago that peanut prices were going through the roof because of some harvest issues (can't remember if it was pest or weather related), so we picked up a couple extra jars before the fuse lit.

My dog likes peanut butter. I don't.

Jungle Rat wrote:My dog likes peanut butter. I don't.

it don't take much to cover up your ballsack anyways

$43 a month, bitch!

no dungeness right now. I'm doing a cleanse, although it's only going to last 4 days since my wife's birthday is Saturday and we're going out to eat Friday and Saturday. I'll see if there's any big crabs in Richmond when I'm up there this weekend

Wtf is a cleanse?

I'm sure you and your wife can find some crabs in Richmond if you try hard enough. Try the swim club.

eat no red meat, no sugar, no dairy (other than non-fat stuff), no grains, no fried food and no caffeine (other than 2 cups of green tea) for a period of time (this one is only going to be 4 days). it's actually not that bad but I struggle with no caffeine and sugar late at night on the desk. like right now when the 40 mini-carrots I ate earlier are just giving me a headache.

lots of chicken and turkey and green salads.