Uncle Bud

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:07 pm

you know you've been married a long time when your wife is standing next to you and you pick up a pair of pants off the floor and smell the crotch to see if they are clean

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:51 pm

I did that on my honeymoon.

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:30 am

once when I was working for a heating/AC company in town when I took a semester off college, I went to a residence. I was the helper dude so I mostly stood around and fetched tools and looked for ways to alleviate my boredom. We were in this house, on the not-upscale side of town but still not a bad neighborhood. From the photos on the wall, I could tell it was a young couple and the wife, in a sort of curvy, country way, was pretty hot. later on, I was in their bathroom and noticed a pair of her panties in the hamper and, naturally, I picked them up and took a big whiff. unfortunately, what met my olfactory glands was a mixture not of sweet poontang but one of sour, shitty smell that made me nearly vomit in their bathtub. I was so overcome that I didn't drop the offensive undies as I gagged and the dude I was working with (who would not have been amused) nearly walked in on me while I was still holding them.

that was a helluva a lesson to learn but I'm pretty sure if I was in the same situation again, I'd bury my nose in some drawers

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:17 am

eCat wrote:you know you've been married a long time when your wife is standing next to you and you pick up a pair of pants off the floor and smell the crotch to see if they are clean

ROTFLMAO

TheBigMook · Post by **TheBigMook** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:25 am

Two great tales from Stu in two days! He's on fire!

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:26 am

Stu wins

BigRedMan · Post by **BigRedMan** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:21 am

I am going to go out on a limb here and think that even Megan Fox's undies smell pretty rank after wearing them all day.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:50 am

BigRedMan wrote:I am going to go out on a limb here and think that even Megan Fox's undies smell pretty rank after wearing them all day.

but we all know there is only one way to find out

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:02 am

for those of you with kids, if you don't know this you will

a jar of peanut butter has basically doubled in price. We normally buy a two pack of large jars, like 40oz or so and it was $14 at the store yesterday.

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:34 am

I'm not an underwear sniffer--at least, not in the context of just grabbing a pair from any old place. I'd have to know where they've been in advance. A pair that just came out of the wash, for example, or a pair that Salli Richardson just took off. Like that.

But eCat's right... no risk no reward. Sometimes you just have to flip a coin.

CAT · Post by **CAT** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:48 pm

Just to upset Stu while he is de-toxing ---Dungeness crabs are in $3.25 a lb fresh. I think since Wednesday we have gone through 12-14 just eating crab and salad and I have some body meat to make crab cakes---if it lasts that long--need to get more crabs!

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:51 pm

Stu is one sick mother fucker.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:52 pm

CAT wrote:---if it lasts that long--need to get more crabs!

There's a real bad joke (not quite) buried in there.

Peanut Butter

Yeah, I read a few months ago that peanut prices were going through the roof because of some harvest issues (can't remember if it was pest or weather related), so we picked up a couple extra jars before the fuse lit.

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:53 pm

My dog likes peanut butter. I don't.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:56 pm

Jungle Rat wrote:My dog likes peanut butter. I don't.

it don't take much to cover up your ballsack anyways

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:57 pm

$43 a month, bitch!

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:22 pm

no dungeness right now. I'm doing a cleanse, although it's only going to last 4 days since my wife's birthday is Saturday and we're going out to eat Friday and Saturday. I'll see if there's any big crabs in Richmond when I'm up there this weekend

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:53 pm

Wtf is a cleanse?

TheBigMook · Post by **TheBigMook** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:59 pm

I'm sure you and your wife can find some crabs in Richmond if you try hard enough. Try the swim club.

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:44 am

eat no red meat, no sugar, no dairy (other than non-fat stuff), no grains, no fried food and no caffeine (other than 2 cups of green tea) for a period of time (this one is only going to be 4 days). it's actually not that bad but I struggle with no caffeine and sugar late at night on the desk. like right now when the 40 mini-carrots I ate earlier are just giving me a headache.

lots of chicken and turkey and green salads.

The Goat Pen

Uncle Bud

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