The Goat Pen

hedge wrote: ↑Tue Dec 13, 2022 1:43 pm

damn right

Saint/rat does remind me of the executive sales manager!

If I wanted to chop you into little bits, I'd chop you into little bits. There would be nothing you could do about it.

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:14 pm If I wanted to chop you into little bits, I'd chop you into little bits. There would be nothing you could do about it.

Yeah I don't think so rat.

Fine, I'll chop you into big bits then.

I'm sensing this couple and this black UPS driver have more going on than just snacks on the porch. I think homeboy is rogering that blonde gap while the nerdy husband watches and beats off.

https://www.witn.com/2022/12/09/ups-dri ... DS1OiYIeIU

innocentbystander wrote: ↑Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:29 pm

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:14 pm If I wanted to chop you into little bits, I'd chop you into little bits. There would be nothing you could do about it.

Yeah I don't think so rat.

You're 1st mistake is thinking. Now you're already on the defensive because you don't know where or where it's coming. While you're asleep? You're breaks? How sharp are those knives he's carrying? Does castration hurt?

"I think homeboy is rogering that blonde gap while the nerdy husband watches and beats off."

What a dork...

so last night I stay up to watch the football game, everyone else goes to bed. The dogs are downstairs with me. The game is over and they know when I turn off the living room light its time for bed so they run up stairs. The small dog , which is a good dog but he is not a very likeable dog, is going on 15 years old now, he is bringing up the rear. Now this dog is at the point where we have to keep him crated most of the time because if we don't he just pisses on everything, he is losing his teeth so his mouth smells like rot and he licks himself constantly so he gets that rot smell all over him. He is so old he doesn't really mind being crated, he has a view of the yard and he is at point in his life where he doesn't move around much.

To say I am over this dog is an understatement at this point.

So we are going upstairs, him bringing up the rear, its dark in the hallway and I hear this THUMP, like really hard. I stumble around to find the lights and when I turn them on, I see this dog laying on his side, like Peter Griffin style when he falls down the stairs. The dog is motionless and he isn't breathing.

Of course I am concerned, I mean my first thought is this goddamned dog just died upstairs and I gotta drag his dead ass down. No sooner than I finish that thought and he sucks this huge gasp of air and lets out this long moan. Then he starts breathing really fast and making this congested noise while he breaths, so now I'm like this dog is having a heart attack. All I can do is comfort him, so I'm petting his head because I know nothing with a soul wants to be alone while its dying.

But this goes on for like 20 minutes and I'm getting impatient, its like midnight and I gotta go to work in the morning. I decide to run downstairs to get his pet bed, so when he dies I can just carry him down in that. When I get back up ,that Nosferatu sumbitch is standing up staring right at me waiting for me to open the door to his crate. He walks right in like nothing is wrong.

I figured he might be dead in his crate this morning, nope, perfectly fine running around with the other dogs to whatever extent a 15 year old dog can. As I type this, he is under my feel and it smells like an aquarium full of dead fish.

I think I'm gonna start eating his dog food though, its a fountain of youth

That sounds like every day at Hedge's house with those foul mutts that keep rotating in and out.

exactly

Sounds like my last meth hit.

This would be getting off easy for IB.

the daughter demanded I take the dog to the vet, I mean its not her money she's spending right? so I scheduled something for Monday. Maybe nature will resolve the problem for me.

Better hope. Last time my daughters suckered me for an extra month of Cheyenne being a doorstop it cost me 3K.

that dog is not on the eCat HMO plan

Bullets are cheaper

I can't do that but if they tell me the dog is suffering, he's not coming back home

I know that sounds harsh but the dog has lived a full life

Agree