The Goat Pen

Has BRM weighed in on this yet? I feel like if he and I are on the same page the rest of you jabronis are just wasting time.

you are nothing but a piece of crap
I find you extremely ugly
you emit a foul and unpleasant odor
I loathe you

BRM cant weigh in on anything that wasn't designed for 18 wheelers

Beat me to it...

"Did you keep that handy to cut and paste when appropriate or do you just have it committed to memory?"

Both...

I found some other posts that I had saved, too:

Mighty Hedgehog - Jan 4, 2005 9:33 pm (#16 of 16) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Jesus, this is going well beyond the tepid entertainment value I expected. Now Crow, the hargard, niggardly Crow, who, adopting the snarling mien of patch-kneed highschool devotee of anarchy definantly yalps out of one side of his tenderly groomed and bearded mouth that he'll be damned if he's going to PAY to post on the internet, but yet, like a psychotic crackhead picking thru the wretched shag of his ragged napped carpet greedily misidentifying every piece of non-carpet (and many pieces of non-non-carpet as well) as the nuggettly kernal of his (oh, fleeting) happiness, he, all chameleon-like and limey (that's right, limey), at the same time stoops to "editing" the posts of others just so he can post. This man needs a premium membership more than any man has ever needed anything, that much is perfectly clear, and yet he'd not only rather nip around the edges rather than pay $7, like a crippled, retarded hyena at the edges of the pack as it gathers around the bloated corpse of a hippo (picnic, lightning), he glorifies his crippled retardation as something that is somehow principled and even noble, all the while the stencho of the hippo fouls his nostrils as he flails and farts and usurps the posts of others in order to make his pathetic point. Whatever that may be....

Man, I miss those days. Now fat jokes at BRM's expense are the highlight of the day. Sad...

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 2:27 pm (#2974 of 2978) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

"Or maybe like Crow you attended a semester of community college, decided that it was too tough, and just went out and got you a job like all the rest of the grits in the hollar... "

I was on summer break when I was offered a great job with the Federal Government in an office that looks directly over the broadway Pier in downtown San Diego, CA.

And my 3.83 GPA and invitation (I declined) to join Phi Beta Kappa kind of hurts your "too tough" argument as well.

Keep flaring those nostrils, though. Maybe Harrison Ford will need a stunt double the next time he needs to stick his hand up a camels ass.

Wildcat Bob - Oct 4, 2007 2:28 pm (#2975 of 2978) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Bitchslapped yet again. Poor Hedge...

Cletus the SJY - Oct 4, 2007 2:34 pm (#2976 of 2978) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Crow, how long were you in school before you left to take that job?

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 2:35 pm (#2977 of 2978) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

My security clearance probably costs more than Hedth makes in a year.

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 2:37 pm (#2978 of 2978) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Cletus, 1 year. But that was after 4 years in the Military.


Cletus the SJY - Oct 4, 2007 2:41 pm (#1 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Only one year? This is from the Phi Beta Kappa website:

Members in course are elected on the basis of their academic records as college seniors, juniors, or — rarely — Ph.D. candidates. To be eligible for election, students must have pursued a broad program of study in the liberal arts and sciences and met other academic criteria as required by the electing chapter.

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 2:45 pm (#2 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Cletus, after my first semester I received an invitation to join them. I was supposed to go to an event with my parents and all that and I totally blew it off as I was 22 years old and was serious about things already and didn't have any desire for all the silliness.

All of college put me off for that matter. Too many silly little punks trying to act like they were in "Animal House" and to me it looked like a formality, that what I would actually be accomplishing was little more than having a piece of paper to show someone. To be honest, I doubt that I would have stayed even if I had not gotten incredibly lucky with the DOD offer.

Now that I am thinking about it, I think that making the Dean's List is what drew the invitation. Not positive but I seem to recall a connection atwixt the two. I also had a Biology Professor that thought I was the next coming of Linnaeus so maybe that was it. I destroyed their final that was supposed to be a monstrous test. (half kidding).

Cletus the SJY - Oct 4, 2007 2:47 pm (#3 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

I'm sure the PBK website is mistaken.

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 2:51 pm (#4 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

No, I'm just telling you what happend in 1987 to me. I could care less. I have no idea what their process is, all I know is I got the letter and trashed it as it didn't interest me.

I figured it would irk the hell out of Hedth, though.

Cletus the SJY - Oct 4, 2007 2:58 pm (#5 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Well, it's a good thing you skipped that dinner because it was probably a set up to make you look like an ass because there is no fucking way Phi Beta Kappa was inviting anyone after one semester of school.

Crow - Oct 4, 2007 3:03 pm (#6 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

I just looked at EKU's website and they don't have PBK listed so I have the wrong name. It wasn't a joke as only 2 people in Lincoln County made the Dean's list that semester (they put your name in the paper, LOL) and the other guy went.

Would not being named to the Dean's list usually draw an invitation of some type? I have no idea how these things work or even when they do what they do. I could care less. I only mention it to tweak Hedth as I know such details infuriate him.

Ding Chavez - Oct 4, 2007 3:14 pm (#7 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

You keep saying "I made the Dean's list" as if it was something that was difficult to do.

Elisabeth Bennet - Oct 4, 2007 3:31 pm (#8 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

No shit. Did you make a might 3.1?

Elisabeth Bennet - Oct 4, 2007 3:33 pm (#9 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

Okay, I've changed my mind (women's prerogative.) I think Wildcat Bob is also Crow - and Crow is trying to pretend he has friends.

I'll confess to loving it when they post, because that means Hedge posts more and that is always good for me.

C MAC - Oct 4, 2007 3:49 pm (#10 of 11) Edit MessageDelete MessageReply Move

I think he is mistaking PBK with Phi Kappa Theta....I'm sure they did homecoming with the Omega Mus.

Crow - Oct 14, 2005 7:06 am (#204 of 1955) Reply

You know, Kitty, I’ve attempted some small level of restraint here in enduring your feminist man-hating kitty litter. I’ve “taken the high road” as it were, up until this time.

But you know what, there comes a time in every man’s life when he must set aside his gentlemanly graces, unzipper his fly, and give some fat biscuit eating black hearted psychotic lithium dependent sass mouthed bitch the good rogering she so richly deserves.

As you, my ample one, are in most desperate need of one.

Take your hands and rub them together briskly until the friction has warmed them... then grab hold the tundra that is your ancient vagina and don’t let go.

Feel that? Did you jerk, suddenly, even in the slightest? Did the metallic mantle surrounding your depraved womanhood crack sharply like angry lightening playing across barbed wire?

The arctic cockles of your unacclimated bosom are surely as barren a windswept rock outcropping as any desolate Himalayan summit and your bitter twisted root will surely never yield a flower. Yet, as a gentleman, I shall make you one fleeting offer:

Hoist your thick woolen dress atop your homely noggin then drop your volumous bloomers and bend over. I have the elixir for what ails ye’ and as I’ve been at the liquor cabinet a tad early this morning I my take pity and throttle that parched walnut of yours and make a real women of you yet.

Dr. MVN:

You are correct, sir.

Mighty Hedgehog - May 9, 2001 2:15 pm (#11 of 11) "You're not real bright are you, eCat?" 56-28!!!! a.k.a. Big Jelly

Larry stepped out of the galley. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What do you know about Casa Dolores?"

"She insisted that I assume the doggy position if I wanted a rimjob, but I felt my balls would be too vulnerable in that position," said Larry. "Have you ever tried it?"

"Yes," replied (whoever asked the question) "It's very nice, the nutlets are open to punishment, but I like that."

"Hmmm," said Larry. "Would you care to try it now?"

Whoever asked the question dutifully took down his dungerees and got down on his hands and knees. The sight that greeted Larry caused him to gasp. These were not "nutlets." Whoever asked the question's balls were massive, and they nearly drug the ground. Larry immediately buried his face into the ante-scrotum, right were it connected to the dickroot, and snorffled greedily. He gobbled mouthfuls of sack skin as if it were a fine English custard, nearly choking several times.

"Leave off the nutsack, punkle!" retorted Whoever asked the question, "I need you to concentrate on my prune!"

And what a prune it was, wrinkled, purplish, and sunkissed like the back of a swarthy slave, it emmited a scent that was at once mellow and tangy. Larry couldn't resist. He slobbered it up all along the outer rim before burying his entire face into the miasmal bunghole. By the time he was done, it looked as if he'd buried his face in a platter of warm glazed chocolate covered doughnuts...

to be continued...

At CB, you can sit at a real table with real chairs.

This one was saved under the title "Talent's curse upon AA":

I have reliable information that your residence in Alabama derives largely from Mississippi refusing to take you. Your decision-making skills rival those of George Armstrong Custer, and your wisdom matches that of the architects of the Maginot Line. If your horrific, soul-sapping internet dribblings were set to music, they'd sound like a misbegotten mix of Styx, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Michael Bolton, and Master P. You have somehow managed to encapsulate in your demonic personage the relevance of the Libertarian Party, the wit of a drunken toddler, the effervescent charm of downtown Detroit, and the erudition of a rock. You are the living, breathing, walking and talking distillation of everything that is regrettable in American society, a one-man symphony trumpeting all that is corrupt in the human soul. Please, for once in your ill-starred existence, have some regard for those cursed to suffer your presence and be silent.

First of all - Fuck all y'all.

Second - ET TU Crash?

Third - Crash - Well Played.

Fourth - Even though the WH has double, covered, smothered, covered etc..... CB overall is the better choice for breakfast.

Fifth - I am glad I am the highlight of your day Hedge. I am here to entertain. Now kindly STFU, EABD, and fear the Duck.

Damn, I forgot about half the posters on that thread, especially that Ding guy.

Bob Evans.

I miss Lonnie. He was always fun to fuck with.

I once asked crow what his rank was and he told me a GS 4 which is basically the equivalent of what gomer pyle would get

that being said I am impressed with #204 of 1955 likely aimed at a fellow KSU fan with ample assets

Rat is correct

I like Bob Evans. None in my area, though.

Bob Evans has turkey!