The Goat Pen

I love first time parents.

"She finally shit after 82 hours."

I can't imagine the destruction if that had been you...

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 5:05 pm Shoulda grabbed a garbage can and held her over it.

Lmao. Not a bad idea.

hedge wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 6:35 pm "She finally shit after 82 hours."

I can't imagine the destruction if that had been you...

When I was in law school, I had been constipated for a few days. I went out Thursday night, and on the way home, I decided to remedy things. I had the cabbie pull into the 24 hour Harris teeter. I bought a bottle of castor oil. It was a tiny bottle. I was drunk. I didn’t read the directions. I assumed you needed to drink the entire bottle since it was so small. I was wrong. I shit like a dog with parvo...

BAHAHAHA!

DooKSucks wrote: ↑Sun May 24, 2020 2:14 pm

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 5:05 pm Shoulda grabbed a garbage can and held her over it.

Lmao. Not a bad idea.

It works

Professor Tiger wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 9:31 am

GBJs wrote: ↑Tue May 12, 2020 12:49 am

I do not see where it requires or authorizes a standing army.

if you wait until you need one before you raise one, you won't need one very long. Fly Navy.

Hey GBJ,

Is it true that Marine aviation is the Navy’s Army’s Air Force?

The Marines... our bastard step children..

I can only say poor things of our Marine Corp in jest... I worked with many of them while in service. The vast majority were top notch professionals.

Oh the wonders of castor oil... you should always keep a small bottle in your toolbox... when you get skydrol in your eyes, you rub a little in the corners and it immediately stops the burning. I can lead you to the bottle in my toolbox blindfolded.

Skydrol is a trade name for aviation hydraulic fluid.. burns the eyes and irritates the shit out of your skin. But, almost non flammable..

We've got our own Bill Nye in here.

GBJs wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 1:21 am Oh the wonders of castor oil... you should always keep a small bottle in your toolbox... when you get skydrol in your eyes, you rub a little in the corners and it immediately stops the burning. I can lead you to the bottle in my toolbox blindfolded.

Skydrol is a trade name for aviation hydraulic fluid.. burns the eyes and irritates the shit out of your skin. But, almost non flammable..

No. It's oil derived from pressing castor beans, but it appears to have some limited aviation uses.

She finished shitting yesterday.

I was in the condo kitchen cleaning her bottles, and I came back into the living room to check on her since she was napping in her bassinet. She had some skidmarks in diapers throughout the day, but that was it. You could tell her stomach was still bothering her.

I came to check on her and she was smiling, cooing and looking more content and relaxed than she has in weeks. I then noticed a green spot on her outfit. I thought to myself "I know damn well that there is no way her skidmark did that." I then looked around and realized she had another massive blowout. She was covered in shit from the neck down. The blankets and clothes were covered with the fetid, green goo, and she was as happy as could be. I got everything stripped down, wiped her down and cleaned her up, and then the wife bathed her. She didn't cry once, but then again, if I had been holding shit like that back, I'm sure I would be that happy too.

She slept like a damn angel last night. It was nothing short of amazing.

This is the time to tell your wife you're going to take a walk and hit the nearest bar.

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 7:44 am We've got our own Bill Nye in here.

I promise you... you'll do whatever you can to stop the burn. Flash burns to the eye from welding is the only thing I've ever experienced that was worse. Both of em hurt like hell.

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 1:32 pm This is the time to tell your wife you're going to take a walk and hit the nearest bar.

Damn right.. Large margaritas please..

"Flash burns to the eye from welding is the only thing I've ever experienced that was worse. Both of em hurt like hell."

Out, vile jelly!
Where is thy lustre now?

GBJs wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 5:05 pm

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 1:32 pm This is the time to tell your wife you're going to take a walk and hit the nearest bar.

Damn right.. Large margaritas please..

She was at the store.

GBJs wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 5:03 pm

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 7:44 am We've got our own Bill Nye in here.

I promise you... you'll do whatever you can to stop the burn. Flash burns to the eye from welding is the only thing I've ever experienced that was worse. Both of em hurt like hell.

Dad had flash burns in the 70’s. He said he laid in a dark room for two days with potato slices over his eyes.

hedge wrote: ↑Tue May 26, 2020 7:39 am "Flash burns to the eye from welding is the only thing I've ever experienced that was worse. Both of em hurt like hell."

Out, vile jelly!
Where is thy lustre now?

Nice Shakespeare reference from King Lear. You still have some fumes left from your UNC education.

DooKSucks wrote: ↑Tue May 26, 2020 9:30 pm

GBJs wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 5:03 pm

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Mon May 25, 2020 7:44 am We've got our own Bill Nye in here.

I promise you... you'll do whatever you can to stop the burn. Flash burns to the eye from welding is the only thing I've ever experienced that was worse. Both of em hurt like hell.

Dad had flash burns in the 70’s. He said he laid in a dark room for two days with potato slices over his eyes.

There is nothing that stops the pain EXCEPT an eye drop to numb the eyes... ponticain... isoptocarpine... things you have to have a prescription for. I had one druggist in the 80s that would sell me a small bottle. As a welder, that shit was more important than gold. Burned like hell for a few seconds, but then you could close your eyes and sleep, which is what your eyes needed.

I'm sure a few flakes of cocaine dissolved in water would do the trick as well...