The Goat Pen

hedge wrote:"she has a horrible habit of calling me to the table when the food still has like 10 minutes left"

I'm sure her side of it is that you've been engrossed in a basketball game or rerun of Law and Order or a piece of lint in your belly button (etc) on so many occasions when she's called you to dinner, only to be left sitting there holding back tears as the fambly is gathered around a hot meal waiting for pappy to come say grace over it, then they huddle together quietly sobbing, shivering in cold and fear as the meal turns sour, waiting for you to sweep into the room bellowing curses and offering personal violence to any who crosses ye or even looks askance at ye...

So she calls you in early to avoid that kind of scene...

I'll bet there was many a sullen supper consumed around the eCat table when Billy Clyde was running the show.

heh

I was dating her during the '97 final four and we were at Acme Oyster house with the Final Four was on against whoever, I can't remember - and I watched the entire game I said maybe 5 words to her. During the final game against Arizona, she purposely wanted to have sex to see what choice I'd make

Women.

Also, bklyn, I had your sandwich today. Not bad.

eCat wrote:During the final game against Arizona, she purposely wanted to have sex to see what choice I'd make

Well? We're waiting...

He did her doggie style while watching the game. Duh

AlabamAlum wrote:Women.

Also, bklyn, I had your sandwich today. Not bad.

Yeah, it's pretty good...more importantly, it is better for you than most breakfast sandwich options.

I will say that it's extremely basic but if I get it at the deli near my house, it's not as good as the deli near my office.

aTm wrote:

eCat wrote:During the final game against Arizona, she purposely wanted to have sex to see what choice I'd make

Well? We're waiting...

I chose sex

We won the championship the year before

but it did stay on the background

I was close!

Yeah, the protein to calorie ratio is good, low fat, and depending on the bread, fairly low carb.

The juxtaposition of these last few posts is pure TGP.

I'm getting a colonoscopy on Monday so I'm going on a complete juice fast this week. I guess I'll be pissing out my ass when I have to drink the 2 gallons of colon cleanse on Sunday...

Well at least they will have a good shot of your head when they do the colonoscopy this time.....

lol

hedge wrote:I'm getting a colonoscopy on Monday so I'm going on a complete juice fast this week. I guess I'll be pissing out my ass when I have to drink the 2 gallons of colon cleanse on Sunday...

it really wasn't as bad as I was told. I guess people get uptight about that stuff they make you drink - I just put some crystal light lemonade powder in it and it wasn't a big deal.

the trade off is the shot of versed you get. They were done around 12:30 but my wife couldn't pick me up so they just left me in a little curtained off area all drugged up, warm and cozy. Had all these cute 30'ish nurses coming around me talking all sweet to me.

Of course in the background it sounded like a barnyard but I didn't care.

Then I got the bill. $3100

Nice one BRM

One of his best...

"They were done around 12:30 but my wife couldn't pick me up so they just left me in a little curtained off area all drugged up, warm and cozy."

Best sleep of my life.

it really was

The people who ruin 4th of July Bar-B-Qs (from funny or die)


1. Guy who announces he's made a "killer playlist" on his iPod but it's really just a collection of the same Sublime and Bob Marley songs he brings every year.

2. Guy who acts like he hasn't heard Bob Marley or Sublime in years and thus encourages the creator of that playlist.

3. Guy who won't shut up during the fireworks.

4. Guy who keeps talking about how the girls want to play Slip-n-Slide even though no girls have arrived yet.

5. Guy who feels the need to play bartender despite the only drink options being beer and the hose.

6. Girl who unexpectedly dominates in beer pong but doesn't understand the concept of beginner's luck.

7. Guy who brought his acoustic guitar but then acts like he forgot about it. And then when people ask him to get it, he's all like "Oh, don't make me sing." Then he grabs it and plays the opening chords to "Wonderwall," which of course gets allllll the ladies to swoon, only to stop and say,"You know, I don't think I remember the whole song," when he totally does.

8. Hedge.

9. Guy who dressed in red, white, and blue who was a hit at the beginning of the party but feels more and more uncomfortable as the night goes on.

10. Guy who passed out in the kiddie pool way too early in the party, thus ruining it for everyone.

11. Guy who still won't shut up during the fireworks

12. Girl who shows up wearing a bikini despite there not being a pool.

13. If there is a pool, girl who sits at the edge of the pool and then complains when she gets wet.

14. Guy who brings shitty beer, but only drinks the good stuff.

15. Jesus Christ, guy, just shut up and enjoy the fireworks.

16. Girl who says she LOVES flip cup, but then tells you she doesn't drink beer when she plays.

17. The guy who nobody knows.* (may be the host of the bar-b-q)

Nice edit...