The Goat Pen

words to live by

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eCat wrote:words to live by

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Here's the long version of that.

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its good advice

Who's the auctioneer?

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The first guy is the best...

Damn, you could pert near hambone to that

hedge wrote:[youtube]EoOXFYfTLFA[/youtube]

When I was a kid, I was amazed at auctioneers whenever I saw them at harvest sales, tobacco auctions, equipment sales, etc.

A couple of months after the then future Mrs. DS and I became engaged, she went with me to a harvest sale back home. She was clueless and astounded when I had won an auction. I had to explain the entire process of bidding without even raising a hand, following the cadence, the auctioneer eliciting bids, etc.

Still, those cattle auctioneers are the fastest of them all.

I read this story as as "DS accidentally won an auction while gesturing wildly explaining the process to his wife in true 1960's TV comedy style, and then played it off as if that's what he intended the whole time"

Heh

There was an episode of Perfect Strangers in which that happened.

I wanted that cake...

I'm sure you did.

"A couple of months after the then future Mrs. DS and I became engaged, she went with me to a harvest sale back home. She was clueless and astounded when I had won an auction. I had to explain the entire process of bidding without even raising a hand, following the cadence, the auctioneer eliciting bids, etc."

Harvest sale?? What the hell is a harvest sale? At any rate, I'm sure that lot of corn husk dolls you won will make a charming addition to the colorfully glazed ceramic cornucopia centerpiece in the dining room, along with the other humble figurines...

Harvest Sale = DS doing his weekly grocery shopping

You spelled "daily" wrong...

DS is marched around on weekends to flea markets to replenish the ever growing number of curio cabinets at his homestead

Harvest Sale: churches (and some local volunteer fire departments) back home will have events where they sell barbecue (usually cooked over wood in pits behind the church, with some of the local churches having cooking pits nicer than many barbecue restaurants) and barbecue chicken plates with cole slaw, potato salad and hushpuppies. After they stop serving plates, there will be an auction wherein the church auctions off homemade quilts, items donated by local businesses (usually toys, small electronics, collectibles, handmade gifts/wreaths) and homemade cakes/pies.

People lose their damn mind over bidding for this crap. My father would routinely end up spending $250-$300 for my grandmother's cakes because everyone would run up the price, and my grandmother would give him shit if he did not buy her cake. Dad got the last laugh one year. Dad's cousin kept running dad up and would not stop. Dad dropped out, and Dad's cousin ended up spending $430.00 on a cake. Granted, that was the best damn pineapple cake known to man, and I would gladly pay $500.00 for one of them right now. Damn, I miss her...

Word to the wise: when you are ten years old, you, the auctioneer and the men watching to take the bids may think it hilarious for you to sneak off to another side of the fellowship hall to discreetly bid on something so that you can ensure you go home with that toy, but if one of the persons you are bidding against is your father, your father will be rather angry...

Look at DS trying to defend his fat ass.

DS = Michael Cohen

" but if one of the persons you are bidding against is your father, your father will be rather angry..."

Or one of the parsons...

"the church auctions off homemade quilts, items donated by local businesses (usually toys, small electronics, collectibles, handmade gifts/wreaths) and homemade cakes/pies. "

Cakes, pies, assorted pastries...

Also, "collectibles" is just another name for "shit nobody really wants"...

Sounds like the same thing your ex said.