Page 218 of 463
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:25 pm
by hedge
One of our drivers just came in here and told me, "a girl just texted me a picture, she was just coming out of the shower and she was buck naked. Now why'd she text me that picture? Because it's payday!'
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:33 pm
by eCat
that's a damn good reason in my book
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:56 pm
by hedge
Nobody has contacted me. Of course, I only get paid every 3 months, but you'd think I'd be getting quarterly texts...
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:22 pm
by Jungle Rat
Take the hint.
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:11 am
by Dave23
Just found out that Hickory Tavern is coming to my town...who can tell me anything about it?
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:31 am
by hedge
It's not Hickory Tavern coming to town, it's Andrew Jackson, a.k.a. Old Hickory that's coming to town, to whip your ass with a hickory stick...
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:54 pm
by Dave23
He must still be pissed about the shit I took at the Hermitage when I was 18...
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:51 pm
by hedge
"the shit I took at the Hermitage when I was 18"
LSD?
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:51 pm
by hedge
I had a dream last night that I hooked up with eCat's wife...
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:03 pm
by eCat
was she hot?
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:04 pm
by eCat
speaking of my wife, I just watched Gone Girl
I don't know what the hell happened the last 10 minutes of that movie.
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 10:26 pm
by hedge
Yeah, she was pretty hot. Somehow you didn't seem to mind and even wanted to watch, which kinda messed it up for me. We didn't really end up closing the deal, but I did play with her nipples...
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 10:47 pm
by Jungle Rat
Yeah, sorry about slapping my dick in your ear every 5 seconds.
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 4:33 pm
by crashcourse
oldie but still funny
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grand...mother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:43 pm
by Jungle Rat
Nice
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 4:21 pm
by eCat
can't say I'd recommend the whole camera up the wang o'scopy.
You're knocked out but I can say first hand I know what the phrase "pissing needles" means now.
Fortunately it doesn't last very long. Turns out I have nothing wrong with me and the all the cat scans , blood test and wang cameras was for naught (other than peace of mind)
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:53 am
by Owlman
eCat wrote:speaking of my wife, I just watched Gone Girl
I don't know what the hell happened the last 10 minutes of that movie.
Ben Affleck's character is pussy whipped?
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 7:14 am
by eCat
that takes pussy whipped to a whole new level
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 4:20 pm
by Owlman
agree, but it's the only explanation I can come up with. Maybe he just admired her brilliant spunk, like Spock with T'prin
Re: Uncle Bud
Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 9:05 am
by Jungle Rat