Uncle Bud

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hedge
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:25 pm

One of our drivers just came in here and told me, "a girl just texted me a picture, she was just coming out of the shower and she was buck naked. Now why'd she text me that picture? Because it's payday!'
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:33 pm

that's a damn good reason in my book
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:56 pm

Nobody has contacted me. Of course, I only get paid every 3 months, but you'd think I'd be getting quarterly texts...
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:22 pm

Take the hint.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Dave23 » Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:11 am

Just found out that Hickory Tavern is coming to my town...who can tell me anything about it?
The older I get the more I pretty much hate every cocksucker that is making decisions in this world and all of the idiots that root for political parties like sports teams. — aTm
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hedge
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:31 am

It's not Hickory Tavern coming to town, it's Andrew Jackson, a.k.a. Old Hickory that's coming to town, to whip your ass with a hickory stick...
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Dave23 » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:54 pm

He must still be pissed about the shit I took at the Hermitage when I was 18...
The older I get the more I pretty much hate every cocksucker that is making decisions in this world and all of the idiots that root for political parties like sports teams. — aTm
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:51 pm

"the shit I took at the Hermitage when I was 18"

LSD?
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:51 pm

I had a dream last night that I hooked up with eCat's wife...
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:03 pm

was she hot?
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:04 pm

speaking of my wife, I just watched Gone Girl

I don't know what the hell happened the last 10 minutes of that movie.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by hedge » Sun Jun 21, 2015 10:26 pm

Yeah, she was pretty hot. Somehow you didn't seem to mind and even wanted to watch, which kinda messed it up for me. We didn't really end up closing the deal, but I did play with her nipples...
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Sun Jun 21, 2015 10:47 pm

Yeah, sorry about slapping my dick in your ear every 5 seconds.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by crashcourse » Mon Jun 22, 2015 4:33 pm

oldie but still funny


Sunday Morning Sex


Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grand...mother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:43 pm

Nice
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Fri Jun 26, 2015 4:21 pm

can't say I'd recommend the whole camera up the wang o'scopy.

You're knocked out but I can say first hand I know what the phrase "pissing needles" means now.

Fortunately it doesn't last very long. Turns out I have nothing wrong with me and the all the cat scans , blood test and wang cameras was for naught (other than peace of mind)
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Owlman » Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:53 am

eCat wrote:speaking of my wife, I just watched Gone Girl

I don't know what the hell happened the last 10 minutes of that movie.
Ben Affleck's character is pussy whipped?
My Dad is my hero still.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by eCat » Sat Jun 27, 2015 7:14 am

that takes pussy whipped to a whole new level
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Owlman » Sat Jun 27, 2015 4:20 pm

agree, but it's the only explanation I can come up with. Maybe he just admired her brilliant spunk, like Spock with T'prin
My Dad is my hero still.
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Re: Uncle Bud

Post by Jungle Rat » Fri Jul 10, 2015 9:05 am

http://www.buzzfeed.com/craigsilverman/ ... .eknD4xma1
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