The Goat Pen

hedge wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2023 8:19 pm Well, either that was fast, or you were wrong...

Six Oath Keepers convicted in connection with January 6 US Capitol riot

https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/20/politics ... proud-boys

I wasn't aware that the "proud boys" and the "oath keepers" were one and same.

You aren't aware of many things.

Todays Forcast: Stormy.

Jungle Rat wrote: ↑Tue Mar 21, 2023 7:02 am Todays Forcast: Stormy.

been googling around, still no indictment (not that I am aware of anyway)

Dear Lord

Please do not appeal to our Lord and God that way. He listens to everyone but He also understand that you really do not believe in Him.

Please provide a link the instant our former president is arrested. Thank you.

You're the dumb cocksucker who once again believed a Trump post. Dumbass.

Jimmy Carter Gets Vasectomy

PLAINS, GA—According to sources familiar with the medical treatment he is currently receiving, former President Jimmy Carter, 98, underwent a conventional surgical vasectomy Tuesday in an effort to prevent any unwanted pregnancies. “I’m not at a point in my life right now where I want to take on the responsibility of having a child, so this just made sense,” said Carter, explaining that he had originally tried to convince his wife Rosalynn Carter, 95, to get her tubes tied, but the former first lady was “just too baby crazy” to agree to the procedure. “A vasectomy is a reversible operation, so if, as time goes by, I decide I’m ready to be a father again, that will still be an option. But at the moment, I want the peace of mind that comes from knowing I won’t accidentally get someone pregnant, especially now that Georgia has a six-week abortion ban.” Reports later confirmed that, for the first time in years, a mid-coital Carter was enjoying the raw, skin-on-skin pleasure of not wearing a condom and freely ejaculating during vaginal sex.

https://www.theonion.com/jimmy-carter-g ... 1850248334

Some like it … steaming hot.

Page Six hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Shubert Theater — and the last time they struck, a turd appeared in the aisle near Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at “Some Like It Hot.”

A source close to the show insists that it was a regrettable one-off incident.

But another source tells us that the theater’s staff said that the s–t’s (almost) hit the fans at other performances as well.

“Last week when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience,” said a source, “the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo.”

The insider added, “The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act.”

Sorry not sorry

I mean really, what normal human being could drop their pants and just take a shit like that?

Blaine Miller

Went coon hunting with Blaine once

Me, my grandfather, Eldrey (Blaines Dad) and Blaine.

We're walking along a creekbed about 10 at night and Blaine, who was probably 23 or so at the time says "hold up" and while we are all talking in a circle , he drops his pants and takes a shit, never breaking eye contact or losing his point in the conversation. Like a damn golden retriever

I had to turn away, but I can't think of how he wiped his ass. I think he just pull his pants up and kept on.

Last time I ever went coon hunting.

Eldrey got fired for being the high school bus driver, he didn't have his own car so he drove the high school bus around, I think it was generally tolerated until someone saw it parked outside the 19th hole liquors one day.

Eldrey chewed tobacco and he had a rhythm of pulling up to a stop, pulling the door handle open and in a single movement spit his tobacco juice out the door as it was opening.

Either he got his timing wrong or Elizabeth Musser was intent on getting on the bus while it was still moving because one day he ended up spitting a line of tobacco juice from her neck to her navel on her yellow flowerty sun dress. That didn't go over too well either, but I guess that wasn't a firing offense back then.

I love it when it’s eCar story time. It reminds me of my daddy. Good times.

I rode bus 98 with Johnny the bus driver back in the day. He was a cool laid back dude with an awesome beard. Lived in a mixed city so there were whites and blacks on board the magic bus. There was one point in the route where the road had a pothole or something and all the black dudes in the back would overexaggerate and jump in their seats. I will forever have the image of about 10 black dudes in the back casually sprouting wings from a seated position and almost hitting the roof of the bus. Afterwards we would joke about how there was probably hair product up there.

Tree wrote: ↑Wed Mar 22, 2023 8:17 pm I rode bus 98 with Johnny the bus driver back in the day. He was a cool laid back dude with an awesome beard. Lived in a mixed city so there were whites and blacks on board the magic bus. There was one point in the route where the road had a pothole or something and all the black dudes in the back would overexaggerate and jump in their seats. I will forever have the image of about 10 black dudes in the back casually sprouting wings from a seated position and almost hitting the roof of the bus. Afterwards we would joke about how there was probably hair product up there.

You rode a racist short bus?