The Goat Pen

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God'll get you for that.

I'll have to get in line behind that preacher, what with him commanding people to get up and dance whilst standing about 6 feet away from a quadraplegic.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=156_1221005987

Heh, that reminded me of this incident bak on the 2008 campaign...

Stop it. That guy ain't "getting happy." He's posing. The spirit ain't in him. Get his ass off the floor.

How do we break this news to Mook?

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/bert-ern ... d=14285027

I call bullshit.

Physicist Geoffrey West has found that simple, mathematical laws govern the properties of cities -- that wealth, crime rate, walking speed and many other aspects of a city can be deduced from a single number: the city's population. In this mind-bending talk from TEDGlobal he shows how it works and how similar laws hold for organisms and corporations.

I think he was on an episode of Radio Lab as well. Interesting stuff.

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ok I got one for you guys

as you guys know I run a training program once or twice a year for new college hires at our company.

This time around I have 17 kids. One of them we hired, while managing to be a presidential honors graduate at a major east coast University (since this is a public board, I don't want to give too many specific details) had serious issues in comprehension and logic - within minutes of meeting the kid you knew he was different.

now different I don't care about, incompetent however is another story altogether. Unfortunately after failing to complete a single task (of 18) assigned to him over a 6 week period we had to let him go.

but what happened in the six weeks is the real story.

We put the kids up in corporate housing in some pretty nice apartments during the training program. We put two to an apartment and they have their own bathrooms/bedroom setup with a common living area.

Now this kid calls me up like 2 days before the training was supposed to start and tells me he is in the hospital with some colon related issue - ulcerative colitis? I may have just made that word up, I don't know but I agreed to delay his start date for a week.

So the kid arrives and everything at first is going OK. I take them all out to dinner and he orders some soup while everyone else is ordering t-bones and what not, so I ask him if he is a vegetarian and he says no, he isn't on solid food yet. OK , whatever, TMI, moving on

Anyways, life goes on, unfortunately we end up letting the kid go and after few more weeks pass, we complete the training program and last night was our final dinner, a bit of a blowout and the alcohol was flowing freely. So the kids roommate calls me over and has a crowd around him and says "I need to tell you a story".

So this kid, who I'm now guessing has never lived alone , as a result of his health problems had chronic, nasty, diarrhea. Now while unpleasant, most people manage to handle this personally and not inflict it on other people.

But you may remember the story I told you earlier about the kid flooding his apartment with the toilet? Well this is the same kid except there is much more to that story.

Apparently this kid was so inept, he had no idea how to unclog a toilet and as a result of his frequent trips to the bathroom, clogged the toilet somewhere along the 3rd or 4th week of the program - and instead of calling maintenance or whatever just *kept using the toilet without flushing*.

His roommate was coming home to the apartment after work and he started smelling this stench. At first it was tolerable but as time went on it started to get overwhelming. One night he had some friends over to the apartment - about 6 people and during the evening., at one point the roommate's bathroom was in use and a woman , who needed to use the bathrooom was told - hey , just use - we'll call him employee zeta - use employee zeta's bathroom, so she goes in and sees a toilet bowl full of the nastiest stuff a human body can produce - just describing it gets me nauseous. Days of filth, splattered, dried......crusty. She runs out, grabs her boyfriend and decides it is time to leave - parties over.

This issue continues to the point that the roommate is buying spray scents, spraying the common living area and then pushing towels in the cracks of his bedroom door to keep the stench out.

Finally the roommate explodes, tells the guy he must clean the bathroom and get rid of his feces collection. So employee zeta attempts to clean the toilet - remember the toilet is already clogged - so he attempts to flush it at some point which results in the toilet immediately overflowing - pouring out a lava flow of feces in various states into the living room.

The apartments have a water flow alarm to protect the apartments on the bottom floors in case of a water leak, so while employee zeta is freaking out having no idea how to stop the shit river now rolling into the living room, the water alarm alerts the monitoring service which in turn calls the police.

The roommate is listening to music dicking around on his computer locked in his towel protected room while this is going on and doesn't hear the alarm. After a few minutes of this, employee zeta pounds on the door screaming frantically that the toilet is flooding the apartment. The roommate comes out, sees shit river running by his door and then begins to gag at the combination of smells and visuals he is being assaulted with. So he jumps the river, runs out the apartment and into the breezeway that connects the apartments. Just as he is running out, the cops , alerted to an alarm going off but having no idea as to why, see the roommate acting all weird, gagging, red eyed, etc and immediate assume he is on drugs.

They corner him while employee zeta is running around inside acting like his hair is on fire and the roommate finally gets a chance to explain, so the two cops go in, they are in for about 3 minutes and one comes running out .....and throws up in the breezeway. The second one comes out mad , they compose themselves and tell the roommate they are going to leave now that its been determined there is no crime. The roommate pleads with them on what he should do and they reply "we are cops, not plumbers" and leave.

While the cops were in the apartment, they did manage to tell employee zeta to go find maintenance and get them to fix the problem.

After the cops leave, the roommate goes over to some other employees apartments, calls me and we discuss what he should do. I put him and employee zeta up in a local hotel. So he goes back to see employee zeta and when he arrives there is a maintenance man in the apartment wearing a white haz mat suit with a shop vac. He is also mad as hell asking how in the world so much shit could be everywhere.

The maintenance man was a real trooper and had the apartment back in livable condition with new carpet by the next day so they only had to stay in a hotel one day.

I never heard this story until last night, 3 weeks after we let the kid go.

Write. A. Book.

Between your job and your family, you have some great stories.

I would have fired Doc too.

I concur with AA. That is fantastic. Hell man, at least do a blog of some sort.

Wow

part of this problem is based on a statement I made the first week to the group where I said, I know roommates occasionally don't get along and you guys really need to try to work out any problems before you come to me

I've dealt with shit like "my roommate stole my pepsi" or "he never does the dishes" - that sort of thing

I never expected to hear a "my roommate won't flush the toilet and shits constantly"

so the roommate was reluctant to say anything to me because he thought I'd think it was petty.

Instead of firing the poor lad, did you ever think of just telling him to...

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