Uncle Bud

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:42 pm

It depends on how much money you make and the area you live in. Your fat, balding ass could still find yourself in trouble with a 25 year older. Too many young women have daddy issues.

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:56 pm

eCat wrote:
AlabamAlum wrote:Oh, unless the lazy motherfucker thing is about cooking and housecleaning and not about going Liam Neeson on the wife and her dalliance.

I was joking about how he she could have an affair, not clean or cook - and he isn't phased by it.

Well, she was never taught to cook. Her parents both worked and brought food in every day. Thanksgivings and Christmases at her folks were catered affairs. I didn't marry her for her domestic abilities. I married her because she was 115lbs, double D, Portuguese, and an extremely horny woman. Kids changed that, of course. She put on 30 pounds, but still looks young for her age and her breasts haven't sagged much despite having 3 brat sucklings. She gets her Saturday morning fix from me. Odd time, I know, but that's when she usually needs the itch scratched. She'll drum up some mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for the kids once or twice a week, but everything else is take out or we go out.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:13 pm

Bklyn wrote:It depends on how much money you make and the area you live in. Your fat, balding ass could still find yourself in trouble with a 25 year older. Too many young women have daddy issues.

I do pretty well for around here. But that says more about "around here" than about how well I'm doing. I'm sure my financial status would be plenty attractive to plenty of gals around here, but dammit, I want to be wanted for me, not my bank account. That just ain't gonna happen around these parts. I like to fancy myself as fairly popular among the ladies when I lived in SF, but that was a different time and a different world. High school football on Friday nights counts as high culture around here. Plus, anybody over 30 has kids. It's all about the kids. I guess it's all about the kids in the Philippines, too, but in a different way. I guess if you're not going to do the married with kids thing, that's a pretty good route to take, but even that life has it's drawbacks. Daily soulless sex with a different teenager every day seems like it would get boring after awhile. Then again, maybe not. Oh well, every lifestyle has it's pitfalls and foibles...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:43 pm

I don't think I'd have the slightest idea what a 48 year old woman would want in dating a man

I was reading a thread the other day in a forum and these guys were saying match.com is a meat market. These online dating sites have turned into - hey we're a match, lets fuck and then see if we want to talk to each other afterwards.

I figured every woman you met on there would be just the opposite - convinced the only thing you wanted from her is sex. Turns out that is what many of them prefer

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:47 pm

No doubt. Logan had great success with match.com...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:54 pm

I went into his account a few times just to troll the offerings. You set up your profile with a pre-made menu that covers most of the bases (religion, body type, do you smoke/drink, if so how much, etc etc) and you can search for matches based on those criteria. In the religion section, they have em all, but for people who either aren't or don't want to admit they're an atheist, they have the ever popular "spiritual, but not religious" box that you can check. I went for the obvious, anything under 40, either slim or athletic body type, the highest level of drinking (I think they had it as "3 or 4 drinks" or some shit, I guess they couldn't put "hells yeah, I like to get fuuuucked uuuuup!" as one of the choices, but you know what it means) and either atheist, agnostic or "spiritual but not religious". Quite a few hits came back, so I narrowed it down and got rid of the "spiritual but not religious". Goddamn, several hundred entries were quickly narrowed down to like 5. I'm not kidding. Nobody wants to admit to being an atheist. And this was in like a 500 mile radius...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:55 pm

And of course none of them had any interest in a 48 year old redneck grain peddler as their reciprocal match...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:58 pm

Very, very few under 40 were looking for anybody close to 50. And not a damn one under 30 or 35 was looking for anybody close to 50...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:00 pm

Somebody needs to come up with sugardaddy.com, a website for young 'uns looking for just what I have to offer. Wouldn't be surprised if it's already out there. I mean, outside the obvious online prostitution sites...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:18 pm

https://www.whatsyourprice.com/

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:49 pm

hedge wrote:Somebody needs to come up with sugardaddy.com, a website for young 'uns looking for just what I have to offer. Wouldn't be surprised if it's already out there. I mean, outside the obvious online prostitution sites...

I just saw some CNN documentary with that Lisa Ling broad talking about a website called http://www.seekingarrangement.com (or something like that). It's the exact thing you listed. Basically young girls wanting a successful man to "mentor" them...but basically it seems to be co-eds wanting help paying for books. Every woman in the documentary was broken and seemed to be deluding themselves over the fact that they were hoe'ing. I guess it's not hoe'ing if you go to Princeton and your mentor is a banker who teaches you leadership and sends a car to pick you up from your dorm at 11pm but promises to have you back to Jersey for you 9am class.

For the kiddos on my staff, they are all about Tinder. I don't know a lot about the app, specifically, but I don't think that it is set up like a conventional dating site with detailed, wordy profiles. It's just pictures and maybe a short blurb, or something. It's basically seeing if anyone near you is down to "hook up" (whatever the fuck that means with kids nowadays).

Now, I haven't seen the actual app (and I don't know if it is also offered via regular computer or just mobile), but I do know that I LOVE reading the Twitter feed devoted to the app. I stop by once a day...although it makes me lose my faith in humanity, a bit. I call it research for when my daughter gets from under my thumb...

https://twitter.com/tinderfessions

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:57 pm

IB?

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:00 am

I used match.com in that same way for two years. Good God, there are some damn freaks on there. I always picked the girls who listed themselves as the heaviest drinking category with some type of Christianity listed as their religion. I picked no kids but didn't care about the marriage history. I make no lies, I was laid by some guilt ridden Jesus loving drunken sluts who were excited to be receiving the attention of an attorney.

I also met my fiancé on there. She wouldn't put out for a while though.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:16 am

" I make no lies"

Is that how your asian girlfriend made you talk?

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 7:15 am

No, Glenlivet does though...

What the fuck was that? Jesus

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 8:20 am

You should try talking like that next time you're in court. People will mistake it for old world flair. You could even throw in "prithee" and "m'lord", etc..

BigRedMan · Post by **BigRedMan** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 9:37 am

My wife's family is pretty much fucking worthless. How she turned out semi-normal is beyond me. However we have been together 20+ years and know each others point of tolerance on bullshit. Now around 6 years ago or so, she filed for divorce without me knowing and well we were fighting like cats and dogs anyways. I found out by calling her and asking something in the checking account on the way to work and she said she filed. Needless to say I was not happy and this was around the 4th of July. That is the moment when I stopped saying sorry for how she felt and sorry for anything I apparently was doing. I just stopped saying sorry. For the first time in since we have lived together, I spent the night at my best friends house. Came home long enough to make plans for the day and when I would pick our daughter up and when I would drop her off. I then promptly left again. That night she asked me to sit down and speak with her and I did. She saw it in my eyes that I was done and didn't need her anymore. She asked that we tried to work it out and I made some demands on how things were going to be. Since then we have ups and downs and obviously never went through the divorce but it has been so much better. It is sad to say it this way but that was when I stopped being a pussy and finally said No to her and standing up for me that it made our marriage better.

With all that being said, yeah I am batting way above my average with her as far as what she looks like and what I look like.

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 9:56 am

"With all that being said, yeah I am batting way above my average with her as far as what she looks like and what I look like"

Maybe she should scout for a DH.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 10:00 am

I like how you threw in that it was around the 4th or July when all this happened. I'm not sure why you did, but I liked it...

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Fri Oct 03, 2014 10:00 am

She did

The Goat Pen

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