The Goat Pen

in time of trouble, I just ask myself

WWCD?

(what would crow do?)

and then do the opposite

I will admit to breaking out the porn tape maybe once a year and watching it when I find myself at home alone. Mostly its like - damn, look how much hair I had then.

"By then I guess I had cooled off and left, found a pay phone, called the guys wife, she wasn't home but left a message on their answering machine letting her know he was porking my wife. I heard later on he shit his pants when he found out I did that"

What did he expect? A medal?

"I will admit to breaking out the porn tape maybe once a year and watching it when I find myself at home alone. Mostly its like - damn, look how much hair I had then."

I'm sure if I had ever made a porno tape like that, those would be my exact feelings as well...

I figured you would have by now - I would think your woman would be receptive to it, especially if she wants to document her body before gravity sets in

its kinda fun because she'll do all this porn star shit, trying to make sure she hits every porn move check box instead of the old Saturday night in and out you would normally get

if she's into it, once the camera is on, you're fucking Jenna Jameson, not this woman that was walking around the house in an old moth eaten bathrobe 2 days ago

Best string of posts in ages. So much gold I don't have the wherewithall to quote the highlights. It's a body of work that should be appreciated in its totality. I'm glad I asked this time instead of letting the reference go by again.

"its kinda fun because she'll do all this porn star shit, trying to make sure she hits every porn move check box instead of the old Saturday night in and out you would normally get"

She's pretty much like that anyway. My libido is in such sad shape, at least when it comes to real sex, that she would be the one hoping I'd be checking off the boxes rather than the same old in and out...

The agony and heartbreak of Low T.

It's more mental than low T. If I'm left alone with an internet connection, I can rub out 4 or 5 a day, easy. After a couple of days, it starts getting painful, but I don't let that stop me. In fairness, I feel the same way about porn starlets as I do about real women. I'll get on one for a week or two and then she just doesn't do it for me anymore. I pulled out a box of old VCR tapes awhile back (the tracking was blurry from having been fast forwarded and reversed so much), some of the gals I used to be in love with just seemed like a novelty act now. Plus, I couldn't get it out of my mind what they probably look like now. It felt like a betrayal. Of course, the fact that I'm now 30 lbs. heavier and half bald didn't trouble me at all...

"Personally it wouldn't bother me to show you guys a picture of her from it, but in this day and age, I can't take the chance that these little fat kids might see their momma naked on the internet - at least from my doing."

There is email, you know...

that's why you gotta keep things fresh. My wife likes porn so I try to find new stuff for us to watch that is within the limits of our taste - which is pretty wide .

I know its a cliche' by now but I really tried to watch midget porn last night. I just couldn't get into it. Those little vienna sausage fingers freak me out. It ain't happening. I'm not sure I could get into amputee porn either.

"There is email, you know..."

I believe that's part of the problem that eCat was referring to...

Being married for over 25 years I don't think I would be overly upset if I found out my wife was cheating. At this point you're kinda in that "leave the keys in the car" mode.

Ditto.

as long as the house was clean and dinner was on the table eh?

Nah. My wife is a physician. And she still works. So she has never done much cooking or cleaning.

I don't know if I have the energy to get all divorcey at this point for a mistake or a brief dalliance. I certainly have had moments of weakness, myself. And as far as beating the guy up or shooting him or whatever, nah, not now. 30 years ago, no doubt.

I don't know - I'm not there yet

I doubt I'd want a divorce, but I'd be a surly sumbitch to live with for awhile

And the physician thing isn't a 'we're rich' thing. It's a time/energy/long hours/thing.

still screw 1-2 times a week

but her ass would be out if she pulled that shit after all the crap weve been though the first 15 years. led to getting divorced. Now doing the second round--10 years last week on our second go around- married 16 years first go round divorced for 5 years -----but only apart for 1 year

go out every sunday night for dinner and get head in the car on the way home --one of these days I'll let her drive and see if she can keep a steady speed

having everybody move out of the house has been a godsend

eCat wrote:I don't know - I'm not there yet

I doubt I'd want a divorce, but I'd be a surly sumbitch to live with for awhile

Fair enough.

When your wife was contemplating a thing with that girl, if it had become a 4-way (like the other guy wanted), how would you have reacted?