The Goat Pen

Playoff at Harbortown. Gotta love it.

so around Thursday last week I noticed a little bump on my asshole, figured, well, its finally happened, I have a hemorrhoid.

Not being familiar with a heorrhoid, I laughed at how much of a pussy everyone is who has one. Little did I know at that time this thing would double in size every day to the point now its larger than my asshole and I was in so much pain yesterday I was nauseous. Today is a little better but I have toyed with the idea of sticking a needle in that sumbitch to deflate it, however what has held me back is the idea of my ass bleeding to the extent I would need to put a womans pad in a crack of my ass to stay at work.

I hope I am on the road to recovery, I was able to actually do some stuff tonight but I twist wrong or sit up too fast and it says hello to me in the form of a throbbing pain that goes all the way up to my teeth.

Next time I get that bump, I'm calling a doc and getting some rubber bands put on it like they do with bulls balls. Let that thing dry up and fall off

This has hurt enough I'm a changed man. Metamucil is now part of my diet

Pop it!

Think I’ll make a shrimp cocktail tonight.

eCat's asshole = Cyclopes in a rainstorm

I had to move a heavy ass wheelchair lift from CC's house when they moved from Charlotte. CC sat his ass in the house like nothing was happening while my best friend and I tried to move that heavy ass monstrosity. I strained so damn hard I popped a massive hemorrhoid and the four hour drive back to Goldsboro became worse and worse due to the pain. When I got back to Goldsboro, I had my mother (a nurse practitioner) look at it and the first words out of her mouth were "holy shit." She told me I needed to go to the ER to get it cut out. I went, and the doctor said "holy shit" under his breath when he saw it. The doctor / nurse didn't numb everything correctly and I screamed like a mother fucker. When he pulled the clot out, the damn clot was as big as my thumb. I had to lay on my stomach for a few days and try to study for the bar like that. Good times....

I thought I was immune to them at this point in life.

All the men in my family have had surgery in one form or another to deal with them. I was leading a charmed life until last week

I've got a friend who has some weird deal where his asshole is too small or some shit (no pun intended), and he has had them so many times the doctors have had to do some sort of corrective surgery to make it easier on him.

Why does it not surprise me that DS had his mom look at his asshole?

[media] [/media]

I don't get it...

heh

Got to flaunt it while I can.

Resorting to kickball...

Evidently it's fun. Guess you have to be there because it sucks balls on tv. I've never made it to halftime.