The Goat Pen

climate wise it is, although the humidity in the summer months isn't any different than the gulf coast.

but what I missed most was a change of seasons. Pine trees make lousy fall colors and you didn't see any of that until you got up to Guntersville in Bama.

They don't even have trees in Texas, just tall bushes.

but no, you won't hear me say Cinci is a better city than Austin.

oh and I like houses with basements, fuck this concrete slab bullshit.

I got that in an email this morning. Pretty good

WHat happened on 8/23 that we should never forget?

apparently that sign isn't doing its job

"No tales of fishing? Snake hunting?"

Speaking of snakes, I saw a documentary about professional wrestling the other night, Jake the Snake figured prominently. Man, that dude is fucked up. Total crack head, fucking multiple women at a time - not that there's anything wrong with that, except when he said "And then you come off the road and try to make love to your wife. Uh-uh, it ain't happening, not after what I'd experienced." Completely estranged from his daughter. Wouldn't be surprised if he was the role model for Mickey Roarke's character in "The Wrestler"...

A lawn chair fell over?

well yea, from the earthquake of course

I wasn't used to something that subtle in here...

where did you see that documentary at? I'd like to catch it too.

Seems like it was on Sundaince chainnel...

Sundaiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnce!

hedge wrote:I wasn't used to something that subtle in here...

Hey Hedge, do you know the difference between sodomy and camping?

I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?" The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast."

Five Important Qualities

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, who cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

A beagle went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”