The Goat Pen

Civilization offers conveniences and stressors. If you want one, you have to take the other.

Those dudes weren't married with families, either. Just saying.

friend of mine - married about 22 years, 2 kids - one is going to West Point next year has a wife that has turned into a full blown drunk, like I'm talking drinking scope by the bottle, walking down the street with no pants, leaving at noon not coming home until the next day, got fired from her $70K a year work at home job, arrested 6 times in the last 3 months , ended up in intensive care with the DT's drunk, . Every time she gets arrested it costs him $800 in legal fees, the kids hate her and they used to adore her - the daughter and her yell "fucking cunt" at each other all day long and the daughter has called the police on her for theft twice. You should see these incoherent texts he gets from her while he at work.

Anyways, he lives in New York. Decided he'd had enough and went to a divorce lawyer. The lawyer drew up a few options for him and told him the most likely scenario is that he'll get the kids, but have to pay his wife around $40K a year in alimony, which I assume is post tax. The guy probably makes $110K a year. And the lawyer is going to end up costing him about $20K if the divorce drags out to court.

So he's doing the math and now realizes he is going to have to sell his house, rape his 401K and sell off a few toys just to get out of this marriage - and he'll probably end up in a little 1100 square foot ranch in a commuter neighborhood 30 miles from where he works.

I can't condone killing a woman in this case but I can understand why he'd want to. The truth is he is secretly hoping something does happen to her between now and the court proceedings. Sad that anyone can get to that place but I can understand why after seeing what he's gone thru this past six months or so.

He needs to get a better lawyer. Spousal support should be thrown out the window. She'll just drink it away anyways. Although at the rate you say she's going he won't have to pay it for long. She'll drink herself to death anyway in a year or so. Detox and withdrawal are a bitch with alcohol trust me. Had my share over the years. Lost a friend a few years back to it and he was the same way. Drank vodka till he passed out daily.

It's all statutory, so I don't know what the prevailing NY laws are regarding alimony. However, that $40K number sounds high. He needs a new lawyer if that's the counsel he's gotten.

Also, what the fuck happened to the wife to turn her to where she is? I don't see how she can go from (presumably) Roseanne (drinks, but still functioning) to Kitty Dukakis in a decade. Something occurred to get her to that point. Had to be.

he's always told me stories about them going out and getting drunk but it wasn't a regular thing - but when they did do it, she'd drink until she passed out and he was an enabler because when she got drunk she wanted sex and lost all her inhibitions.

but at some point she broke her foot and she said/claimed that it wasn't healing and it hurt all the time. Initially he blamed her continued drinking on that but I didn't know the extent of it. In the last few months she gone from "she has a problem" to "she is going to kill herself".

I don't know enough about the law in New York to know one way or the other but I thought paying a woman $40K a year in alimony was absurd given his financial situation. I'd probably live in a damn camper or something if I was forking over that kinda of money - and he still has to cover the kids.

Maybe I will suggest to him to seek another lawyer but no matter what he does, its fairly obvious she isn't going to go quietly into the night - you know - unless she gets hit by a truck or something.

A psychiatrist found her legally sane and could make competent decisions but lately every time the police pick her up they end up wanting to take her in for psych evaluation because she is acting crazy. He is a volunteer fireman so the police cut him slack as a fellow public servant, so without that she'd probably be arrested 10-12 times.

Can a divorce court judge rule that she has to stay sober as a condition of getting alimony?

Alimony is deductible so it will be pre-tax, but he will be paying 6 figures, not $20K if she becomes a bitch about it.

A client told me why divorce is so expensive.....Because it's worth it.

Just have him make sure all court hearings are first thing at 8 am Monday morning. She'll never make them.

hedge wrote:Can a divorce court judge rule that she has to stay sober as a condition of getting alimony?

Absolutely

If she isn't working and there are no fault provisions in their alimony statutes (i.e. alimony is solely based on economic factors), 40k is on the high end, but it isn't unthinkable, imho. He should invest in a more aggressive attorney though, but this is all armchair quarterbacking in a situation where we know about ten percent of the total story.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

Simple solution

A. Get to her and slip some heavy dose painkillers into her drinks. Let her die like a rock star. No one would ever suspect anything.

I think I saw that episode on Cold Case. Maybe Law & Order?

I would soooo plow Olivia Benson.

I saw Mariska Hargitay on the street in NY about 5 years ago...

And then she ran the other way.

I saw a bull do this to a guys knee once and the sounds he emitted afterwards wasn't human. I felt for him but I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. It was an audible "TOCK" sound when that hoof connected with his knee cap




and a couple of other knockout gifs for added fun

Never walk up hoof side to a lying cow, horse or mule. You'll pay. Just like when you're brushing a skittish horse, walk in front to get to the other side.

there is no shortage of videos of people getting kicked in the face by a horse.

When I sold my horses, the guy who bought them got kicked hard in the chest by an old mare. I thought she had killed him. He got up after a few labored gasps and just said, "you take a check?" Like it didn't happen.

That bitch was feisty. She'd step on your foot (on purpose) just for giggles. And if you didn't flat hand an apple or carrot when hand feeding, she'd bite the shit outta you.