Florida State Seminoles

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 7:14 pm

I had hernia surgery yesterday. They couldn’t do it laparoscopically and had to cut it out the old fashioned way.

I’ve been popping two Percocet every four to six hours. I can fart.

I popped out a turd about the size of my pinky this morning. I’m drinking water and Gatorade like it’s going out of style. I’ve taken eight stool softeners and two laxatives since noon yesterday. Nothing.

I hurt like hell, and I have gone from taking four to five dumps per day to nothing.

Fuck

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 8:40 pm

I feel for you.

I had some minor surgery a few years back and I was hurting like hell until I took two of whatever the doc gave me, in about 10 minutes everything was right with the world.

I can easily understand why some people don't want that feeling to go away. Its a shame what it leads to.

Professor Tiger · Post by **Professor Tiger** » Sat Sep 29, 2018 10:15 pm

Get well soon, DS.

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Sun Sep 30, 2018 9:31 am

I hope your ass blows up you fat fucker

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:06 pm

"I popped out a turd about the size of my pinky this morning."

And that took 20 minutes and you felt like you were delivering a baby...

Professor Tiger · Post by **Professor Tiger** » Sun Sep 30, 2018 8:29 pm

Tough crowd...

BigRedMan · Post by **BigRedMan** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 9:07 am

Eat some white castles, have a few natty lights, and then some eggs and bacon then clear your schedule for the rest of the day DS. You will be shitting like a root beer dispenser soon after.

Professor Tiger · Post by **Professor Tiger** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:02 pm

How much did hedge offer you for your leftover percocets?

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 4:34 pm

Professor Tiger wrote:How much did hedge offer you for your leftover percocets?

Saving them for his Christmas present

aTm · Post by **aTm** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 9:04 pm

Yadda yadda, South Park, yadda etc

[tweet]1046906384208596992[/tweet]

Professor Tiger · Post by **Professor Tiger** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:11 am

Accusations of heavy drinking, boorish behavior, unwelcome jumping on top of women? Are we talking about Ted Kennedy?

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:19 am

Hedge

bluetick · Post by **bluetick** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:40 am

DooKSucks wrote:I had hernia surgery yesterday. They couldn’t do it laparoscopically and had to cut it out the old fashioned way.

I’ve been popping two Percocet every four to six hours. I can fart.

I popped out a turd about the size of my pinky this morning. I’m drinking water and Gatorade like it’s going out of style. I’ve taken eight stool softeners and two laxatives since noon yesterday. Nothing.

I hurt like hell, and I have gone from taking four to five dumps per day to nothing.

Fuck

Had mine back in April. Back and knee surgeries pale in comparison to that week of hell (longer, considering I didn't shit normally until May). And mine was lapro. Sorry..

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:46 am

My theory has always been "why wait until surgery to take narcotics?"

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 9:09 am

My theory is that you are attacked by killer bees.

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:43 am

bluetick wrote:
DooKSucks wrote:I had hernia surgery yesterday. They couldn’t do it laparoscopically and had to cut it out the old fashioned way.

I’ve been popping two Percocet every four to six hours. I can fart.

I popped out a turd about the size of my pinky this morning. I’m drinking water and Gatorade like it’s going out of style. I’ve taken eight stool softeners and two laxatives since noon yesterday. Nothing.

I hurt like hell, and I have gone from taking four to five dumps per day to nothing.

Fuck

Had mine back in April. Back and knee surgeries pale in comparison to that week of hell (longer, considering I didn't shit normally until May). And mine was lapro. Sorry..

Thanks. I can't imagine being a woman and having a c-section.

Our senior partner was bitching at me for not coming into the office yesterday (I'm here today for at least half a day). "Jim is twenty years older than you and was back in the office on Monday after his Friday hernia surgery."

I told the senior partner that "Jim's surgery was necessitated because his dumbass pushed did that first time too and needed second surgery because he (Jim) fucked up the repairs by pushing himself too hard," and I went on to explain that neither the senior partner nor I are medical professionals. That shut the senior partner up.

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:44 pm

Jim has true grit.

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:26 pm

You should be more like Jim.

Professor Tiger · Post by **Professor Tiger** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:38 pm

Jim is a team player. He’ll make partner before the slacker associates.

crashcourse · Post by **crashcourse** » Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:55 pm

Jim's eye now is on your trophy wife. should make that move anytime now giving her some pleasure she richly deserves

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