The Goat Pen

"One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take our shoes off at the airport. 31 school shooting since Columbine and not a single change in gun regulations" -- John Oliver

Exactly, the teachers are still not allowed to carry guns. Rediculous.

This might belong in the religion thread, but it is so good it needs a broader audience. JD, Sardis and I may be the only ones who get the humor, but here goes. From #TrumpBible:

And Jesus said to them, "It is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but I am REALLY, REALLY rich." #TrumpBible

And Moses went to Pharaoh and said to him, "Let my people go!" and Pharaoh did because Moses knew how to negotiate. #TrumpBible

Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible

"I'm not saying Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem. I'm just saying show me the birth certificate." #trumpbible

"Can anything good come out of Nazareth? I mean, I'm sure some of them are good people and all. But mostly we get their worst." #TrumpBible

I lost a lot of respect for the Pharaoh. Never should have let the Hebrews go because of, what, hail? The Hebrews love me. #TrumpBible

There *is* room at the inn but Mary and Joseph refuse to stay there because it is LOW CLASS and a DUMP. #TrumpBible

Great flood, total disaster. Totally mismanaged by Noah, not a smart guy, total loser, couldn't even save the dinosaurs. #TrumpBible

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world? Everything, you losers, everything!!" #TrumpBible

And Jesus came to them walking on the waves and said, "Have you seen the polls? I'm like WAY ahead. It's not even close." #TrumpBible

Thanks for the gold, frankincense, and myrrh Wise Guys. Now go back to your own country. #TrumpBible

Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment? Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem.

Paul? he's a hero bc he wrote some letters from prison? Personally I like people who weren’t captured. #TrumpBible

And a woman was there who was "bleeding out of her wherever" touched Jesus's cloak and was healed. He should charge for that. #TrumpBible

Professor Tiger wrote:Translation: Planned Parenthood has sympathetic videos. And after a detailed analysis, Planned Parenthood is exonerated. Planned Parenthood has done nothing wrong. All those videos where you saw a them discussing selling fetal body parts didn't really happen.

Your words, prof. Maybe not in their original context, but close enough, right?

My actual quote:

Professor Tiger wrote:Translation: Planned Parenthood has paid sympathetic companies to investigate the videos. And after a detailed analysis, the companies paid by Planned Parenthood to exonerate Planned Parenthood have determined that Planned Parenthood has done nothing wrong. All those videos where you saw a them discussing routine infanticide and selling fetal body parts didn't really happen. Who are you going to believe? Planned Parenthood's paid "investigators" or your lying eyes?

Professor Tiger wrote:This might belong in the religion thread, but it is so good it needs a broader audience. JD, Sardis and I may be the only ones who get the humor, but here goes. From #TrumpBible:

And Jesus said to them, "It is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but I am REALLY, REALLY rich." #TrumpBible

And Moses went to Pharaoh and said to him, "Let my people go!" and Pharaoh did because Moses knew how to negotiate. #TrumpBible

Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible

"I'm not saying Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem. I'm just saying show me the birth certificate." #trumpbible

"Can anything good come out of Nazareth? I mean, I'm sure some of them are good people and all. But mostly we get their worst." #TrumpBible

I lost a lot of respect for the Pharaoh. Never should have let the Hebrews go because of, what, hail? The Hebrews love me. #TrumpBible

There *is* room at the inn but Mary and Joseph refuse to stay there because it is LOW CLASS and a DUMP. #TrumpBible

Great flood, total disaster. Totally mismanaged by Noah, not a smart guy, total loser, couldn't even save the dinosaurs. #TrumpBible

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world? Everything, you losers, everything!!" #TrumpBible

And Jesus came to them walking on the waves and said, "Have you seen the polls? I'm like WAY ahead. It's not even close." #TrumpBible

Thanks for the gold, frankincense, and myrrh Wise Guys. Now go back to your own country. #TrumpBible

Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment? Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem.

Paul? he's a hero bc he wrote some letters from prison? Personally I like people who weren’t captured. #TrumpBible

And a woman was there who was "bleeding out of her wherever" touched Jesus's cloak and was healed. He should charge for that. #TrumpBible

Rolling On The Floor Laughing

Legal Experts See No Criminal Trouble for Clinton Thus Far - Associated Press http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ ... id=U142DHP

Meanwhile, at another, uh, news organization..

Report: MI6 Spy Found in Bag Inside Bathtub 'Hacked Into Secret Data About Bill Clinton' - Fox News 8/30/2015

MI6 spy Gareth Williams hacked into restricted information about former U.S. President Bill Clinton, it has been claimed. The 31-year-old codebreaker was discovered inside a padlocked bag in a bathtub at his London home in 2010, sparking a real-life mystery worthy of any 007 thriller.

JD, glad you enjoyed #Trumpbible. You and Sardis are the ones I thought might.

bluetick wrote:Meanwhile, at another, uh, news organization..

Report: MI6 Spy Found in Bag Inside Bathtub 'Hacked Into Secret Data About Bill Clinton' - Fox News 8/30/2015

MI6 spy Gareth Williams hacked into restricted information about former U.S. President Bill Clinton, it has been claimed. The 31-year-old codebreaker was discovered inside a padlocked bag in a bathtub at his London home in 2010, sparking a real-life mystery worthy of any 007 thriller.

Vince Foster, Jim McDougal, Mary Mahoney, Gareth Williams, et. al. . . . lesson learned?

Don't screw with the Clintons.

Professor Tiger wrote:JD, glad you enjoyed #Trumpbible. You and Sardis are the ones I thought might.

they were entertaining

Johnette's Daddy wrote:
Vince Foster, Jim McDougal, Mary Mahoney, Gareth Williams, et. al. . . . lesson learned?

Don't screw with the Clintons.

Ron Brown "accidental" plane crash

Bubba thought it was pretty funny.

[youtube]Pr8Y9qguTgc[/youtube]

You can solve a lot of problems with suicides in Arkansas.

Houma and Cheryl are getting their assistants to start their cars and taste their food these days.

Testing... one... two... three... testing...

Black man pulled over for having air freshener on his mirror:

[youtube]rHG-fptWcLU[/youtube]

The officer felt threatened.

Happens to white guys too. We just don't whine about it.