The Goat Pen

I had to get an ultrasound on my nuts a few years ago, whoever showed me in told me to take my pants off and lay down on the table, then they turned the lights down. It was like I was fixin to get a massage or something. Then a rather attractive technician came in and slathered my balls with some cool gel and started rubbing the ever-so-slightly vibrating scanner over me nutlets. Yeah, I got a boner...

Dear Penthouse......

Bklyn wrote:Man, I haven't seen a Warren G quote in about 15 years, or more. Well done.

I make sure all my doctors are women. I'm just more comfortable with the ball juggling and prostate fondling (which I've been able to avoid so far, thank God) happening with a woman. An Asian woman with tiny hands, preferably.

Fuck. I had my first prostate check at 29 after my birthday this past fall. That was not enjoyable, no matter what Road Trip made you think.

hedge wrote:I had to get an ultrasound on my nuts a few years ago, whoever showed me in told me to take my pants off and lay down on the table, then they turned the lights down. It was like I was fixin to get a massage or something. Then a rather attractive technician came in and slathered my balls with some cool gel and started rubbing the ever-so-slightly vibrating scanner over me nutlets. Yeah, I got a boner...

I'm sure you weren't the first, but leaving cab fare on the MRI probably wasn't a good move

Dammit

getting a prostate check at 29?

you must be in sanfrancisco

Just remember if you fell two hands on your shoulders during the prostate exam, it isn't an exam, it's rape.

I got a prostate exam when I was like 28 or 29, so I guess its not that uncommon.

I was married to my first wife at the time and I was telling her about it and she was like "that's the first time a doctor has stuck a finger up your butt? My doctor does it every visit!"

I was like ummm...maybe its time to switch doctors?

As if I don't need another reason to never see Houston

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HOUSTON (CBSDFW.COM) – Deputies with the Harris County Precinct One Constable’s Office say a man has been terrorizing a neighborhood in the Woodland Heights area of Houston by going to the bathroom in several yards at night.

“We’ve had reports from six to eight neighbors out there that someone is actually coming into their yard and defecating — generally on their driveways,” said Sgt. J.C. Mosier.

Authorities believe the unknown man is committing the act between 1:00 and 4:00 a.m., but a motive for crimes has not yet been established.

“I think the neighbors are laughing about it, but that’s because it’s only happened to two houses in the neighborhood. If it starts happening more, I think people might become enraged,” says Amy, who lives in the Heights. “How much poop can one man make though?”

She says one person’s house has even been hit as many as six times.

“I’m thinking revenge poop is definitely a possibility. We’re all wondering, what did this person who’s having the creep-crapper hit their house repeatedly do?”

Sgt. Mosier agrees that revenge could be the motive, as he recalls a similar event many years ago in the Houston area.

“It turned out to be a neighbor who was mad at people for letting their dogs come in his yard and not cleaning up after them,” said Mosier. “He decided to get his own revenge.”

Though it has been amusing for some in the neighborhood, law enforcement officials are taking the case very seriously and have beefed up patrols in the area to catch the man.

“You have to worry about anybody that would go this extreme to do something, no matter what the reason. You don’t know what a person like that is capable of.”

Still pictures from surveillance video footage shows the suspect to be an older, balding Hispanic man with a moustache who wears shorts.

“We’re getting a few calls from people who might know who he is,” said Mosier. “As of yet, he’s not been arrested.”

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He called the shit...poop!

Don't give Rat any ideas...

Several good ones in that article. Revenge pooper. Creep-crapper. Even the ostensibly innocuous "police are beefing up security" takes on a new meaning in the context of the article...

Here was the picture that went with that article..

hedge wrote:Don't give Rat any ideas...

Heh. I did that years ago to my neighbor 2 doors down. Except I shit on his front porch so he would possibly step in it on his way out. He thought he was sneaky letting his dog poop in other people's yards at night/early morning.

I caught one of neighbors on my security cam letting his dog poop in my yard at night. I asked him to stop and he did. He also apologized and offered to clean it up. Your way has more panache, though.

The guy between us bought me dinner once I told him it was me. He hates the dude as well.

Now that I have a dog again it's on.

eCat wrote:I got a prostate exam when I was like 28 or 29, so I guess its not that uncommon.

I was married to my first wife at the time and I was telling her about it and she was like "that's the first time a doctor has stuck a finger up your butt? My doctor does it every visit!"

I was like ummm...maybe its time to switch doctors?

We are chacking the back of the uterus when we are doing a rectal on a woman. Bigger risk to women at a younger age.

hedge wrote:Several good ones in that article. Revenge pooper. Creep-crapper. Even the ostensibly innocuous "police are beefing up security" takes on a new meaning in the context of the article...

Houston cops will shoot

They can clip a 5 inch hanger at 50 paces...

Rat, when you crapped on your neighbors porch, were you nervous? Did you have to force it out quick or did you bring a magazine with you?