The Goat Pen

Why you turning an Oregon Trail joke into a pirate joke?

What's the Oregon Trail joke? Same thing accept on the Oregon Trail?

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Steven Wright Jokes

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.

You had to edit that?

They are cut and pastes from my sister. She likes very bad jokes and puns. She collects them from FB and other places. She knows I do not FB, so she will send them to me on occasion in an e-mail. When she sends me a new e-mail, I copy-pasta them here when I am bored. I have been entertaining the unwashed masses with bad jokes and puns like that since the CNNSI days.

This one had a typo. I do not like typos, usually, and will edit them out - especially if it detracts from the original bad joke or pun.

So, anyway, yes, I edited that. Why do you ask?

Roger Ebert has died. He looked mad the last time I saw him. I asked what was eating him and he stomped off.


/Too soon?

Ahh.

You posted a good joke awhile back, but I can't remember it now. Can you find it for me?

"Dysentery[9] would be very similar to a stomach virus. It can be caused by a bacterial or viral infection, as well as a parasitic infestation, often spread by contaminated food or water. It is treated by staying hydrated, either orally or intravenously, or with antibiotics. When left untreated, it can lead to dehydration, blood poisoning, and ultimately, death."

So AA's quip about bacteria being the only culture some people have, esp. in light of his other quips about psychics, was really a tribute to Oregon Trail?

Roger Ebert tries out his new voice technology. Kinda shocking...

[youtube]xRha8TGtEBg[/youtube]

Randomly came across this today...

http://www.ign.com/top/video-game-moments/44

#1

wow, I remember this.... I was no FF fanatic but VII was the game changer in terms of video game story telling, when she died I was like WTF??? Holy shyt, why am I choked up over this?

Death happens all the time in videogames. In Call of Duty it's a slap on the wrist, in Dark Souls it's education, in Pac-Man it's another coin for the machine. In Final Fantasy VII, though, one death is a genre-defining moment: Aerith Gainsborough's. Of Sepiroth's long list of atrocities against Cloud, this is the most personally devastating: his words might be simple ("What about my pain?"), but they're no less effective for their paucity. But what hit so hard about Aerith's death wasn't just empathy for Cloud – it was the fact that you, too, had known her, had invested all that time and energy in her, only for her to be suddenly taken away. There is no moment in gaming's emotional journey from kids' entertainment to modern storytelling medium that has endured as strongly as this.

I thought you didn't do Facebook?

I do not do FB. What makes you think that I do?

... spent many an hour doing this during my Research Methods graduate class in college back in the early 70's. Hated that class. Kids today have it toooo easy.

Research was a laborious bitch back then.