Ostensibly Hoops

The Forum Without Decorum.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 24, 2016 3:55 am

This was my favorite one:

"Fred VanVleet, 5'11" senior guard, Wichita State: "I hear he's been working out great, but I don't see him making the league. What does he do? He couldn't hold Cat Barber's jock, and Cat's probably going to be middle second round. He's so small, not a great athlete, struggled getting places in pick and roll. I think he goes undrafted.""

<Paul Lamm voice>Uh-uh, now, Cat Barber...</PLv>
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by eCat » Fri Jun 24, 2016 4:35 am

the only UK kid I think it going to make an impact is Murray. I'm not even sure Poythress enjoys playing competitive basketball. Skal is a 7 footer who wants to shoot jump shots from 15 foot.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Jungle Rat » Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:30 am

There was a draft?

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:33 am

I wish you were standing in the back draft of a house fire...
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Saint » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:04 am

eCat wrote:the only UK kid I think it going to make an impact is Murray. I'm not even sure Poythress enjoys playing competitive basketball. Skal is a 7 footer who wants to shoot jump shots from 15 foot.
I like how you used "15 foot" instead of "feet" there to remain true to your hillbilly upbringing. eCat keepin it real!

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by eCat » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:53 am

I didn't even notice that
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:00 am

I think we're all indebted to Gabby eCat, for clearly stating what needed to be saaid. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age...
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by eCat » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:09 am

my mom is visiting me this week and my wife complains that whenever I get around my family I turn back into a hillbilly.

I get louder and start talking out the side of my mouth which results in that Appalachian slur
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Saint » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:14 am

Plus, you break out the possumburgers from the deep freezer.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:22 am

"I get louder and start talking out the side of my mouth which results in that Appalachian slur"

I can only imagine what that sounded like when you had the Bell's palsey...
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:22 am

[youtube]ke5Mr5eCF2U[/youtube]
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by crotch » Fri Jun 24, 2016 12:29 pm

eCat wrote:my mom is visiting me this week and my wife complains that whenever I get around my family I turn back into a hillbilly.
... ain't nairy much nuttin' wrong wid dat

[youtube]03iwAY4KlIU[/youtube]

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Saint » Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:03 pm

Those folks sound like yankees compared to the way people sound in eastern NC.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by crotch » Fri Jun 24, 2016 4:20 pm

The first guy on the video is from NC.....

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Saint » Fri Jun 24, 2016 5:25 pm

I said "eastern NC" which is a whole different special kind of country than these fancy-pants hilljacks.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Jungle Rat » Fri Jun 24, 2016 8:32 pm

Hedge is a dickhead.

Needed to be said.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by crotch » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:56 pm

Saint wrote:I said "eastern NC" which is a whole different special kind of country than these fancy-pants hilljacks.
I taught school with a girl from Hertford in Perquimmins County in eastern NC.... she talked normal.

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:32 am

Stu is overstating the case. There are pockets of marble-mouth idiots around here that you practically need a translator to decipher, but I'm sure there's no shortage of those type anywhere in appalachia or elsewhere in Kentucky, Tennessee or anywhere else in the south. It's actually like a deep scottich brogue, of which it is an amalgomation...
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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by Jungle Rat » Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:46 pm

You're still a dickhead

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Re: Ostensibly Hoops

Post by hedge » Wed Jun 29, 2016 12:09 am

"I like how you used "15 foot" instead of "feet" there to remain true to your hillbilly upbringing. eCat keepin it real!"

In light of that, this kinda reminded me of eCat:

[youtube]7EChnZTJicw[/youtube]
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

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