The Goat Pen

I can't imagine my mom and my wife getting into an argument.

Although that may change the next time my mom puts regular coffee into my wife's high dollar Kuerig machine.

Yeah, I can't imagine my mom arguing with the MIF or my sister in law. If she detected a conversation or issue going off the rails, she would just change the subject (and so would the they). I guess a wedding is different for women, but I think my mom would just rather let them handle it however they wanted to...

how it works at my house is if my wife gets mad at my mom, then she stays mad at me for the next month like I can just tell my mom not to visit us

or until her drunk ass momma comes to visit and I have to deal with her - then it evens out.

The only thing I can think of that can get under the skin of the groom's mom concerning the wedding is the invite list. Mom's don't want to leave anyone out, but unless you are having the reception in the church basement, you can't invite everyone.

My mom and my wife do not see eye to eye, at all. They are too much alike (organized, opinionated, control freaks with a large "J" on the Myers Briggs scale) to ever get along. My mom is not sensitive in the least, though. It's probably the result of having so many boys in the house. My wife was raised around girls and a dad who was barely physically available and never emotionally. So, she's a very sensitive soul.

As a result, I only hear about the problems my mom brings from my wife. My mom stays out of it. It works like that for me. My wife wants nothing to do with my mom's anger. They just pretend to get along, so it's fine by me.

Bklyn wrote:My mom and my wife do not see eye to eye, at all. They are too much alike (organized, opinionated, control freaks with a large "J" on the Myers Briggs scale) to ever get along. My mom is not sensitive in the least, though. It's probably the result of having so many boys in the house. My wife was raised around girls and a dad who was barely physically available and never emotionally. So, she's a very sensitive soul.

As a result, I only hear about the problems my mom brings from my wife. My mom stays out of it. It works like that for me. My wife wants nothing to do with my mom's anger. They just pretend to get along, so it's fine by me.

Doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Always agree with the one you currently live with over the one you used to live with. That's because the one you used to live with will always forgive you if you have to come home.

My mom hated my ex. Turns out she was right. I could care less for her mom either. Bitch was always stopping by unannounced, always tried to take control and then they moved in against my wishes for 4 months while they built a house down the street. That basically ended our marriage. I've cussed her and her husband out numerous times over the years. Always feels good.

As long as my wife and my mom pretend to be okay with each other, I just let it be. It would be nice if they were chummy (which, funny enough, they were before we got married...then I realized that my wife was pretending to land herself a great catch), but as long as it isn't toxic, I don't give a shit.

sardis wrote:The only thing I can think of that can get under the skin of the groom's mom concerning the wedding is the invite list. Mom's don't want to leave anyone out, but unless you are having the reception in the church basement, you can't invite everyone.

Bingo!

Add to that the fact my mother told her she should shelve her career (six figure salary) and just stay at home to support me...

Bklyn wrote:My mom and my wife do not see eye to eye, at all. They are too much alike (organized, opinionated, control freaks with a large "J" on the Myers Briggs scale) to ever get along. My mom is not sensitive in the least, though. It's probably the result of having so many boys in the house. My wife was raised around girls and a dad who was barely physically available and never emotionally. So, she's a very sensitive soul.

As a result, I only hear about the problems my mom brings from my wife. My mom stays out of it. It works like that for me. My wife wants nothing to do with my mom's anger. They just pretend to get along, so it's fine by me.

Bingo again!

My mother is less than sane for multiple reasons (fucked up childhood and then the past seven years with my dad have taken its toll), and add to that the fact she had me when doctors told her she wouldn't be able to carry a child to term. So, you have a very emotional woman who was going to see anyone I married as a competitor for my attention. She has even told us she feels like this is pulling me away from her and that we will never be as close.

The fiancé is 37, never married, successful and extremely independent. She did have a lot of benefits in life based off of coming from her mother's family, but her father was a piece of shit. They didn't talk for the last twelve years of his life. He died seven years ago.

The war was going to happen. I am just hoping that was the only one, but I am sure grandchildren will bring it all out again.

DooKSucks wrote:

sardis wrote:The only thing I can think of that can get under the skin of the groom's mom concerning the wedding is the invite list. Mom's don't want to leave anyone out, but unless you are having the reception in the church basement, you can't invite everyone.

Bingo!

Add to that the fact my mother told her she should shelve her career (six figure salary) and just stay at home to support me...

At that point I'd tell my mom to STFU and call Directv, a realtor selling a 5 acre spread, download the Jimmy John's App and lay around the house all day.

Oh wait.....

I don't have any of these problems. My mom died when I was 25 and never met my wife because it would be 8 more years until I did. My MIL is OK with me. She's an aging hippie and pretty quirky, aside from the copious amounts that she and my step-father-in-law smoke daily. I have to deal with the stuff between them and my wife even though they are across the country in Calif. but it's not that much, really. My wife had it rough growing up because they were pretty much getting fucked up all the time (not just weed) and still pretty much kids (her mom was 16 when she had my wife as basically a flower child living in the Haight). My wife pretty much lived on the streets of Palo Alto when she was 14 or 15 so she's been through it and doesn't mind getting into it with anyone but my mom was such a gentle soul and never spoke harshly of anyone so I'm sure they would get along very well.

"My mother is less than sane for multiple reasons (fucked up childhood and then the past seven years with my dad have taken its toll)"

You left out the most salient cause of whatever mental issues she has...

Well, I am sure that all of the shit I pulled from the ages of 14-29 didn't help her any...

14-29? Arent you like 30?

He's reformed...

marrying a chick with money will do that

I am 30, but I have slowed down and become more career focused and family oriented over the past 18 months...due to her. I don't even drink (except for the rare social outing) Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, and I only drink heavily on the weekends now.

That last item will really stand out on your moral rectitude resume'...