The Goat Pen

Doc is driving all over town buying it all up. Better hurry.

I'm sure this does hit home but not because of your aunt. It's because you won't be able to stuff ye jowls with Snowballs

Dear God, not Snowballs!!

"Hostess shut down their plants nationwide due to not resolving a union strike. 18,500 jobs lost, twinkies and ding dongs shut down - at least temporarily."

Who makes the pink marshmellow balls covered with coconut sprinkles? I never liked them, but I like the idea of them. I wonder if Keebler ever has union problems with their elves?

" This hits home. My aunt works for the hostess plant here in Columbus, IN."

In other words, by "hits home", you mean no more free boxes of cake-lets. <Jeff Harper voice>Cakes, cookies, pastries, assorted baked goods...</JHv>

Damn, Stu beat me to it...

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Don't remember this one. Must be a North Carolina thing.

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.

They got drunk, and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says: "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University Kentucky School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says: "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

Boy, I bet nobody saw that punchline coming. A real zinger...

At least you read it.

Biggest bar night of the year. Be safe fuckheads.

Yeah. True dat. I went a bit too deep in the Valley of the Deer myself. Hungover, and that's odd for me.

That's me today. I am dragging...

I meant today, too. One of my houseguests brought a bottle of Glenfiddich 21 as a gift. He and I finished it and then went the Don Julio route. Finished that and went to Maker's. Head hurts.

I blame the Maker's.

That's a volatile mix. But am I understanding you correctly that you and a friend polished off upwards of 3 quarts of whiskey? Damn...

We went the red wine route last night, I opened three bottles before anybody got there and had another bottle already open about half full from the night before. One of the guests brought a bottle and I know I opened at least 3 more, so I thought we had done alright ourselves. But from a pure alcohol standpoint, that's still not close to three quarts of whiskey. And we had 4 adults and 2 kids working on our stuff....

I never get hangovers.

lightweights

Poorly constructed post on my part. We did finish the full bottle of Glenfiddich by ourselves. When that was gone we went to the Don Julio - that bottle and the Maker's had already been opened and both had a goodly amount gone before we started on them, and we had others who may have had some even after we started on it (memory not that clear on any help we may have had with the Julio or Maker's)

The MIF insisted that I buy her some Grey Goose, so in a rage I went to the liquor store and bought five different brands plus we already had a couple at the house. Did a taste test at room temp of dirty martinis (actually the juice was from a jar of jalapeno stuffed olives, so they were hot and dirty, which is actually my preferred mix for a vodka martini these days). Anyway, the MIF's favorites were Gray Goose and the cheapest bottle I bought (can't remember the name, it was in a blue plastic bottle, cost $10 for a fifth), she said she couldn't tell any difference b/w them. Least favorite was high dollar Ketel One. I bought "bottle" of some shit packaged to look like a fire extinquisher, it was a cardboard tube with a plain bottle inside, I wouldn't have bought it (it wasn't cheap) but some black lady touted it while I was browsing, said she drank it straight over ice and you couldn't taste it, but she lied. It wasn't bad, but nothing special. I have to admit, the Ketel One did have the harshest taste, definitely smelled and tasted more of rubbing alcohol than the others, but still, if it was really cheap, I wouldn't hesitate to buy it over Grey Goose, i.e., there wasn't $20 worth of difference b/w it and Grey Goose. But of course, at the same price as Grey Goose, it's a no brainer. What is even more of a no-brainer is that the MIF liked the $10 bottle of Platinum (I just remembered the name) triple distilled (or maybe it was 7 times distilled) in the blue plastic bottle, so why pay $30 for Grey Goose? I am enough of a snob, however, to keep the Gray Goose bottle when we're done with it and fill it with Platinum from now on and serve it to guests...

On another note, I bought some shit named Chiroc (might not be spelled right) that the kids told me Puff Daddy (or somebody) was behind, evidently it is distilled from grapes (still labeled as vodka, however) and you could definitely tell it was different from the others. Smelled and tasted much sweeter, but not in a good way. I guess it would be OK for fruit drinks, but it made for an awful martini...

Full disclosure: Both of the kids liked the Gray Goose the best, but they didn't really even like that. They just don't have a taste for straight vodka yet, so maybe I should say they tolerated the GG the best. Platinum was second and they found the fire extinquisher and Ketel One to be equally "nasty" (their preferred word for anything they don't like). They also noted the difference in the Chiroc and did not care for it...

Seriously, though, if you're a fan of spicy food and also like a dirty martini, add a little jalapeno juice to your dirty martini to spice it up. It's very good...