The Goat Pen

Bklyn wrote:

eCat wrote: what I have found is that structure at home is the game changer in learning - create a lifestyle a kid can rely on - dinner at 5:30, bedtime at 8:30 - whatever, homework after school when they get home - and the kids usually excel.

Yep

My wife has 3 sisters. She was the first to have kids. The older sister considers herself a free thinker - more into artsy stuff, etc and she wouldn't stop fucking harping about how we raised our kids - even on vacation we did our best to adhere to a schedule. She let everyone know she wasn't going to raise her kids that way - they could watch what they wanted on TV, ate when they were hungry, go to bed when they were tired. Early on she convinced the other two sisters that we were assholes because of our strict adherence to structure in their life.

So she had kids and no surprise to anyone paying attention, they are a trainwreck. The oldest girl is homeschooled ,not by choice, but because she she is such a "free spirit" she annoys the other kids and they pick on her. And when the boy got into kindergarten, the school called up mom and told her to leave him at home once or twice a week because it wasn't fair to the other kids that the teacher had to spend all her time keeping her kid in line. I don't think either one of them has a chance at life. They are like 11 and 8 now so the die is cast. I'm the cool uncle though because I bought Honda 3 wheelers for them to ride around on grammas 10 acre yard.

So the 3rd sister has two small children now - a 3 year old and a 6 month old - and guess what - she wants us to move to Texas because she doesn't want her kids to end up like older sisters. Actually her goal in life is to have everything better than us - bigger house, smarter kids, nicer car - she's highly motivated to be the most successful daughter of the bunch, so her kids go to music class , tumbling class, language class, I'm not sure what else, but she doesn't work (following our model) and she is dedicated to making these kids the best they can be.

More power to her I guess - but if I've learned anything as a parent of the boy, you can't change their personality - they're gonna be who they're gonna be and have to accept it - even if that means he is the worst damn little league baseball player you ever seen in your entire life and all those trips to the batting cages and throwing in the back yard was a goddamn waste of time, might as well just have thrown that money down a hole, how the hell can my genes create a non-athletic kid, I'm blaming my wife for the rest of our lives over that bullshit.

lol! I stopped signing my son up for sports when he was 5 or 6 because he wasn't that interested. Really no kid should be at that age although the focus on youth sports in this town is so acute that kids are playing on travel teams by the team they're 5 or 6.

I was more than happy to never sign him up again (he takes Swim America lessons) for a team sport but then this spring, he decided he wants to play soccer again (he hates baseball and has never tried to play basketball but he'd suck at it for sure). So now I have to go back out there on Saturdays and listen to all these other parents screaming. At least I won't have to yell at my own kid about throwing dirt on another kid as I did before.

There are plenty of moms like that oldest sister you described around the homeschool circuit. As parents, our generation sucks because they've lost sight of the basics that our parents used. I sure as hell don't want to live to be 80 or 90 and have this crop of ill-trained kids running the country.

I'm glad that story ended in the flourish that it did...

"There are plenty of moms like that oldest sister you described around the homeschool circuit. As parents, our generation sucks because they've lost sight of the basics that our parents used. I sure as hell don't want to live to be 80 or 90 and have this crop of ill-trained kids running the country."

Yep, we have now become the generation that says "back in my day!". But it's true. I used to ride my bike to school in 3rd grade, it was a couple of miles and across two fairly busy roads. I don't know anybody these days that would let their kid do that (most won't let that age kid out of their sight for a second). Parents today feel like they've got to be an active part of every damn thing the kid does or they feel guilty about not being a good parent. But part of being a good parent is letting the kids become who they are without you hovering over them every damn second. Give them some freedom, let them figure things out themselves. But nobody does anymore...

It's the chicks who are behind this. How we've let them run this whole thing into the ground is beyond me.

Suffrage.

And now we're suffering.

hedge wrote:My accountant told me that if you made under $80K you would qualify for some kind of subsidy under Obamacare. I can't believe a single income of <$40K with a family of 3 to support wouldn't be at least half price. But Stu did tell me something about some rule that if your company offered insurance and you refused it (or something), then it's different. But that still sucks...

The affordable care act is really only for the working poor. If you are below the poverty line, you can't get subsidies. That is covered by the medicare extension. If the state didn't accept the extension (100% paid by the federal govt for the 1st 4 years, 90% thereafter), then if you are below the poverty line and don't qualify for medicaid (eligibility detm'd by the state), you are SOOL.

It was easier when I was a kid. All of our parents went fucking nuts (literally) meaning there were a lot of other crumb-snatchers around. Baby-boomers were so large, everything was catered to us, TV programming, change in family structure, different responsibilities. Send us outside, there were always a bunch of other kids out there.

Different now. I'm like the father in that commercial, everybody can get a trophy, but mine is going to be changed to 1st place if that's what he earned

my mantle is full of star wars action figures instead of first place trophies

hedge wrote: I used to ride my bike to school in 3rd grade, it was a couple of miles and across two fairly busy roads. I don't know anybody these days that would let their kid do that (most won't let that age kid out of their sight for a second). Parents today feel like they've got to be an active part of every damn thing the kid does or they feel guilty about not being a good parent. But part of being a good parent is letting the kids become who they are without you hovering over them every damn second. Give them some freedom, let them figure things out themselves. But nobody does anymore...

Personally, I think a big part of that is related to the parents helicoptering, but it would disingenuous of me to not acknowledge that the world has a changed a lot since my childhood...and those changes have been both good and bad. I think there is some validity to monitoring your kids today more than my parents monitored me...whether physically or in the digital space (which did not exist during our childhoods).

eCat wrote:my mantle is full of star wars action figures instead of first place trophies

LMAO...

Owlman wrote:

hedge wrote:My accountant told me that if you made under $80K you would qualify for some kind of subsidy under Obamacare. I can't believe a single income of <$40K with a family of 3 to support wouldn't be at least half price. But Stu did tell me something about some rule that if your company offered insurance and you refused it (or something), then it's different. But that still sucks...

The affordable care act is really only for the working poor. If you are below the poverty line, you can't get subsidies. That is covered by the medicare extension. If the state didn't accept the extension (100% paid by the federal govt for the 1st 4 years, 90% thereafter), then if you are below the poverty line and don't qualify for medicaid (eligibility detm'd by the state), you are SOOL.

Yep, that's a big part of it, Spacer. NC didn't take the Medicare extension and that left me in the lurch. Plus, my boss, an old-money publishing scion but borderline special ed type who has taken to Tea Party thinking so he can blame the decline of his business on Obama, refused to drop our insurance at work, so, under NC law, I didn't qualify for a subsidy. Although, apparently we never did based on total income, despite what healthcare.gov said when I was applying.

Bklyn wrote:

hedge wrote: I used to ride my bike to school in 3rd grade, it was a couple of miles and across two fairly busy roads. I don't know anybody these days that would let their kid do that (most won't let that age kid out of their sight for a second). Parents today feel like they've got to be an active part of every damn thing the kid does or they feel guilty about not being a good parent. But part of being a good parent is letting the kids become who they are without you hovering over them every damn second. Give them some freedom, let them figure things out themselves. But nobody does anymore...

Personally, I think a big part of that is related to the parents helicoptering, but it would disingenuous of me to not acknowledge that the world has a changed a lot since my childhood...and those changes have been both good and bad. I think there is some validity to monitoring your kids today more than my parents monitored me...whether physically or in the digital space (which did not exist during our childhoods).

I have been like that in the past, in part because our first son only lived 30 days and I know that if anything were to happen to Bennett, I would be devastated. But now that he's 9, if he wants to jump on his bike and ride around the neighborhood, I don't care. However, his mom ain't letting that happen just yet.

Maybe when he's 18...

Your kid is 9? Jesus Christ.

Yep. He's studying Minecraft coding and developing a smart mouth. He might be a good fit here in another 10 years.

Let's just say, my wife and I should have stopped at two.

I wish your parents had stopped at zero...

nice

8.5