The Goat Pen

Your mother was hot. Got any nudes?


Want some?

I wish she was my mother. If she was I wouldn't be wasting my time here with you losers.

AugustWest wrote:Your mother was hot. Got any nudes?


Want some?

I'm not sure Betty White did many nudes

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That's LA, but she's pubbing a Vegas pool bar. Maybe they have one in LA now too...or maybe I'm the idiot for focusing on the glasses.

Bklyn wrote:.or maybe I'm the idiot for focusing on the glasses.

Yeah, go with that one.

Basically.

ok, so I'm back and recovered from my week of debauchery in New Orleans.

As far as weeks go, it was a pretty good one for me.

So because I am on the team that puts this shindig for work together, I always get an upgraded room at the event and I had a two room suite which had a nice view of the New Orleans skyline. I get there a day early to unpack all the shit I have to bring (including the family feud set I talked about a couple of months ago here). Since we had an open night in New Orleans with my wife, we invited her friend and her friends boyfriend to come stay with us for the night. To help you keep the story straight, I'll call my wife's best friend Marcie and her boyfriend Nick.

So they get there and we're having drinks in the room and getting primed to go out and Marcie tells us that her and Nick are now into having sex in front of strangers on Skype. Ok, whatever, sounds fun. Next thing I know Nick is pulling out his cell phone and showing me semi-naked pics of the friend - matter of fact, he was showing them to my wife and Marcie said not to exclude me. Now when a woman demands that you see her bare ass in a nightie, you know the night is going to be interesting.

So we all end up having a detailed discussion of our sex lives (no, the peppermint dick didn't make it into the conversation) while we are drinking. Of course Nick can't keep his shit in check and is all but demanding that get to have a 3 some with my wife which of course is a no go but I don't go into the jealous husband thing, I'm just playing it light and telling him that if he wants to ever have sex with another woman, he can't make it all about what he wants. Meanwhile, Marcie is taking a shower and my wife is in the bathroom with her and they are talking sex as well. They come out of the shower and go into the bedroom and my wife is showing Marcie her vibrator and at some point they kiss. Which of course sends Nick over the edge and he will not shut the fuck up about how he wants us all to fuck or more to the point how he wants to fuck my wife.

So eventually we get hungry. Its still daylight so I'm thinking its around 8:00pm and we decide we're going to go to Acme, but when we get there , its about a 20 minute wait and we're already feeling the alcohol, we try another oyster house place just a block down and they don't seat us. By now we've all probably got about 4 drinks in us of hard liquor and that was enough to have Marcie and my wife start french kissing on bourbon street non-stop. We'd go from 1 bar to another and they'd kiss while they walked there, then we'd get seated and they'd kiss some more. Between bar hops, Marcie would come up to me, hold my hand and tell me "you know, I'm probably going to want to have sex with your wife tonight" and I'm like -knock yourself out, but Nick stays on the shelf.

Now the night goes on, we go into a sex shop , Marcie buys a wig to put on and she now has jet black hair. I tell her I always wanted to do a woman with jet black hair and her response was - in front of my wife - do you find me attractive? Would you like to have sex with me? Now even in my drunken state, I realize I'm in dangerous territory here so I tell here that I think she's always had great tits (which is a non-answer but still apparently a pleasing one to her) to keep me being in any trouble with my wife. But the bottom line is its clear that to Marcie and Nick, they wanted us all naked in a pile in the room ASAP.

So anyways we keep drinking to where we are past stumbling drunk, which was a mistake because while its cool to see your wife french kissing her best friend from high school in some crap ass bar (and which I was announcing to every guy gawking at us - yep..thats MY wife!) you are quickly to the point where you can't function, especially with my wife who hardly ever drinks.

Sure enough we're on our way back to the hotel room and my mind is going in 20 different directions about how this is going to play out knowing full well that Nick was NOT going to fuck my wife and we get to the hotel - we never ate , hang out a bit, Nick and I run down to the 24/7 place and get a couple of sandwiches and salads, head back up and my wife is passed out on the sofa.

Night over, hang it up.

The next day we get up, feeling the nights activities, Marcie and Nick have to leave and clearly no one is in the mood to do anything with us all having hot-dog water mouth hangovers, so they thank us for a great night and head out.

So my wife and I are talking afterwards and she said passing out was her choice because she didn't want to deal with Nick thinking he was going to fuck her that night but later on she gets a text from Marcie saying how much fun she had, how she's always been bi-sexual and has had a thing for my wife and is adamant they hook up as long as we're OK with it. Unfortunately our schedules didn't let us get back together again but we're going back at Xmas.

Who knows if it will happen, especially if Marcie and Nick start swinging because my wife has no desire to have sex with someone that has a take a number sex sign on their door, but I'm closer than I've ever been to seeing it happen.

This has been about 8 years in the works with me, and I'm doing my best to keep Nick from fucking it up.

That's almost a Penthouse letter.

Oh, and Nickie needs a mickie.

I like the guy but he is a pain in the ass.

There are all kinds of potential landmines here - and I'm not going to mess up a 16 year marriage over this. Fortunately my wife and I are on the same page .

The men are on the outside looking in

btw, I found a new place to eat I love in NOLA.

Coops down by the French Market - just a few spots from Central Grocery. The cajun pasta there is amazing. I think we ate there and had drinks for less than $50.It looks like a dump but god the food was good. And this is coming from a guy that had eaten at Court of Two Sisters, Bourbon House, Palace Cafe, Antoines (sp?) and Snug Harbor.

I'm not a huge fan of COTS. And I've been to Snug Harbor a bunch but just get drinks there. I'll have to try Coop's. That's the great thing about NOLA: some great food can be had inexpensively in places that look like dives.