North Carolina Tar Heels

[eCat]

Mercedes launches the new S class

....

The mammoth, 104-page press release covering all the details of the new car is overwhelming. The section on sensors runs longer than most new car announcements.

There’s the latest version of the Mercedes Distronic technology, using both cameras and radar to monitor the vehicle’s surroundings. It allows the new S-Class to keep pace with traffic, come to a complete stop in a tie-up and then start rolling again. It triggers the brakes if a collision seems likely and even turns on the flashers when one does occur.

The latest in lane departure warning systems will even take control if a drowsy driver starts to drift into an adjacent lane.

Short of the near desktop-sized displays on the Tesla Model S, the new Mercedes S-Class will feature some of the largest video screens ever stuffed into an instrument panel, two of them 12.3 inches each. The primary, reconfigurable display handles traditional duties, such as speed and engine RPMs, while the right panel oversees Mercedes’ latest infotainment technology.

As the maker revealed during a session halfway around the world at the annual Google I/O developers’ conference, there will be more apps. Mercedes is even developing a so-called “Heat Map” system to guide a motorist to the center of the urban action by visualizing areas with high concentrations of night clubs, restaurants and shopping centers.

Oh yeah: There will even be an automatic perfume atomizer option lifted from the Maybach brand abandoned last year.

Among the many firsts Mercedes is claiming for the 2014 S-Class, the big sedan will introduce the Magic Body Control system. Rather than wait until sensors detect a bump or pothole, it will use the stereo camera system to look for uneven pavement and automatically adjust the standard-issue air suspension.

As always, Mercedes plans to offer different versions of the new S-Class, including diesel and gasoline drivetrains and a plug-in hybrid, due out a year after the car’s launch.

The S550, slated for the U.S. market, could leave potential buyers wondering why they would need anything else. Its twin-turbocharged 4.7-liter V-8 will pump out an impressive 455 horsepower and 516 pound-feet of torque – more than the direct competitors from BMW, Audi or Lexus – and enough to launch the big Teutonic sedan from 0 to 60 in just 4.8 seconds. That’s nearly a full second faster than the outgoing model.

[Bklyn]

I guess if you have to ask the sticker...

[eCat]

hell I didn't want to get electric sliding doors on our mini-van because I thought they'd break and I'd have to fix them.

[aTm]

Whenever I see the commercials about cars that have automatic driving features, I picture my car slamming on the breaks on the highway because it malfunctioned or a bird flew in front of me or something.

[Bklyn]

I do think about that alot...and then I have to quickly switch to some fictional manual override like Will Smith in "I, Robot."

[aTm]

I will buy the first car that has a self destruct sequence code 1, 1a, 2b.

[eCat]

Ford is the reason I don't like new shit on cars. Its not the pinto gas tank thing, but I have to believe they have no idea how to beta test their stuff except roll it out to the public. I'm hearing that eco-boost engine is a piece of shit now because its plagued with problems from everyday driving. That is something Ford should have known about.

Also reading about H. Ross Perots interaction with GM gave me much better insight as to how something horrible goes from the whiteboard to the showroom.

[aTm]

Yeah, never buy the new model. It seems like even new cars that are great initial quality, MotorTrend Car of the Year type cars, end up being pieces of crap because the kinks aren't worked out. The reintroduction of the Malibu 15 years ago or so comes to mind.

[eCat]

and it takes them like 4 years to address it, because even if they are aware of the problem early on, they do a cost analysis on how many will eventually crap out before they have to start the recall, especially if it isn't a safety issue.

Look at recalls for American autos - I bet they are exclusively for safety only issues.

[aTm]

I'm a recall coordinator. My job is to apply the formula.

Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of- court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X...

If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?

Oh, you wouldn't believe.

... Which... car company do you work for?

A major one.

[T Dot O Dot]

the lane correction feature sounds like it could get someone killed

[Saint]

I'm a recall coordinator. My job is to apply the formula.

Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of- court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X...

If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?

Oh, you wouldn't believe.

... Which... car company do you work for?

A major one.

no wonder you have so much time to fuck around here all day. you can get your whole week done in 20 min. A x B x C = X

[AlabamAlum]

That's known as Monsanto Math.

[eCat]

Monsanto must have the worst marketing department in the history of mankind

[Bklyn]

PR is worst.

[eCat]

seriously, who doesn't think Monsanto is the worst company in the world? I picture their board of directors straight out of Austin Powers with the Chairman burning his staff if they don't develop soybeans that cause cancer in babies and puppies.

I guess the people in Bhopal , India think Union Carbide is bad but damn.....

[hedge]

Farmers love them...

[eCat]

I heard on NPR last week they won some major judgement against a farmer. Farmers use their hybrid seeds to grow these soybeans, and then Monsanto demands they don't plant the seeds from the soybeans they grow (from the original soybeans purchased from Monsanto) in their own fields and must buy a whole new crop of seeds for next years crop.

[hedge]

Farmers get busted for that all the time. Usually they make them pose for the cover of regional and national trade magazines and do a story about how sorry they are and how nobody should steal seeds from Monsanto...

[eCat]

Farmers get busted for that all the time. Usually they make them pose for the cover of regional and national trade magazines and do a story about how sorry they are and how nobody should steal seeds from Monsanto...

LOL

you mean like Modern Farmer magazine?



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