Uncle Bud

billy bob bocephus · Post by **billy bob bocephus** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:50 pm

like we were the Devil's own

did you tell them you were a cock, not a dookie?

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:32 pm

I think he just told them the truth. Hes a cock.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:17 pm

I'm still not good yet

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:38 pm

My shits aren't as watery, but they're still loose.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:23 pm

everything is back to normal for me - or as normal as it gets.

just went to the bathroom to take a leak, as I'm walking in a morbidly obese man is coming out of the stall to wash his hands. I do my thing, shake it off and I walk behind him to wash mine and then give him a minute or so to get out of the door. He is so huge that he doesn't walk, he just leans from side to side and leans forward in an effort to get momentum.

Anyway, he moves on and I'm throwing away my paper towel into the trash can that is right next to the door, and I look down and there is a shit ball on the floor the size of a grape. I mean I guess that is a proportionate size for a dingleberry of a 450 pound man as I suspect wiping his ass in a normal size stall is challenge, but damn...nasty..dude is leaving a shit trail. I didn't say anything, just stepped over it but its right in the doorway. At some point someone is stepping on it and given that its lunch time it won't take long.

I'm not sure of the etiquette involved in handling a piece of shit on the floor or giving someone fair warning. I decided it might be more fun to hear someone curse for 10 minutes while they clean man shit off their Florscheims.

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:19 pm

shit, you're killing me with that one.

we have the office fatties who leave bombs every day (one at 11:15 a.m. and one at 2:30 p.m.) in the women's bathroom. The latter weighs about 400 and is a gout-plagued, bun-headed, denim-skirt wearing pentecostal who somehow got the job as newsroom secretary and her issue stinks so badly, you can smell it in the hallway. All collards and chili dogs no doubt. The other apparently likes to carry on conversations while she's perched on the toilet and blasting farts in between her grunts.

I know this because the chicks in the news room come back gagging and trying to spit out the story.

But as far as I know neither has ever dropped a turdball on the floor.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:45 pm

If I'm in a public bathroom and there's somebody sitting in the stall, I sometimes turn the lights off when I leave, esp. if I know it's going to be pitch dark...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:48 pm

[youtube]YLO7tCdBVrA[/youtube]

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:54 pm

RIP Hippie. I miss that guy.

[That old Nazi-sounding dude, William Alexander, was a much better painter, though]

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:01 pm

I'm just thankful that 90% of the people in my office are under the age of 40. It gives an old geezer like me plenty of vacancy.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:08 pm

[youtube]qpP-0okXm4o[/youtube]

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:22 pm

Saint wrote:shit, you're killing me with that one.

we have the office fatties who leave bombs every day (one at 11:15 a.m. and one at 2:30 p.m.) in the women's bathroom. The latter weighs about 400 and is a gout-plagued, bun-headed, denim-skirt wearing pentecostal who somehow got the job as newsroom secretary and her issue stinks so badly, you can smell it in the hallway. All collards and chili dogs no doubt. The other apparently likes to carry on conversations while she's perched on the toilet and blasting farts in between her grunts.

I know this because the chicks in the news room come back gagging and trying to spit out the story.

But as far as I know neither has ever dropped a turdball on the floor.

The septic system/sewer lines in our office backed up today. The bathrooms on the first floor were flooded. That was one hell of a rancid smell.

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:28 pm

Remind you of your childhood?

AugustWest · Post by **AugustWest** » Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:51 pm

[img2]http://i.minus.com/jJq1aDAM8lE9N.jpg[/img2]

AugustWest · Post by **AugustWest** » Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:52 pm

[img2]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos- ... 5592_n.jpg[/img2]

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:59 pm

Good ones.

AugustWest · Post by **AugustWest** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:00 am

[img2]http://files.shroomery.org/files/12-49/ ... wisdom.jpg[/img2]

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:12 pm

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:32 pm

For some reason, I have been constipated since last night. If I have problems down there, it's usually that I am going too much. However, this is an exception. I have taken five dulcalax's, seven stool softeners and had four cups of strong coffee, but I have only had two watery shits with very little substance. I feel like everything is there just waiting, but I can't get it to budge.

I don't want to do Castor Oil, but I may have to if conditions don't break soon...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:26 pm

Wait, you did take a shit last night, and now, just b/c you haven't taken one today, you consume that arsenal?

The Goat Pen

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