Television and Film - Coca for the Kiddies

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Mon May 16, 2011 10:06 pm

Okay, there's no movie/tv thread so I'm putting this here, since David Banner was in the "film." And on that note, I have to say that I just watched one of the worst acted movies I''ve ever come across, with Boris Kudjoe (shocking, I know), Kenya Moore and David Banner (along with a brief few scenes by Richard Roundtree).

Horrible. So bad that you had to watch it to the end. What's worse is that Kenya Moore couldn't save it by just being Kenya Moore. I don't know what's happened, if she's had some fucked up plastic surgery or what, but her grill looked weird. Face drawn in at odd angles, eyes looking tired and her lips, particularly her lips, in fact, looking too narrow, as if she's got a constant pucker going.

Someone needs to steer these stars from the plastic surgeons. They're doing themselves more harm than good.

But even if we were getting the same Kenya Moore from, say, five or so years ago, she couldn't save this wreck of a film. And I don't care how good looking black women and gay men think your boy Boris is, that dude shouldn't ever be anywhere on a film screen. Especially if you're gonna give him a shitty script to work with to boot.

Owlman · Post by **Owlman** » Mon May 16, 2011 10:14 pm

er; what movie?

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Mon May 16, 2011 10:44 pm

Christ. I couldn't even tell you. It was on TV One.

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Mon May 16, 2011 10:46 pm

Now, I'm watching an episode of the Rockford Files, and I have to say that the screenwriting for that show is/was very good. I wonder how it would play today with that level of script writing and today's advance film technology.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Mon May 16, 2011 11:19 pm

OK Hizzy's rant and subsequent amnesia with the title (and comfort with that fact) was downright HILARIOUS!

(I'll set up a TV thread and move this discussion there)

UNMfan · Post by **UNMfan** » Tue May 17, 2011 11:45 am

Test...

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Tue May 17, 2011 1:33 pm

Okay, the name of the move was The Confidant. The following review isn't particularly well-written but there are some amusing moments.

http://filmcriticsunited.com/theconfidant.html

Nigel in flashback was wearing University of Michigan gear. We know that Kenya Moore, who produced this film, is a Detroit native and was throwing out some much needed local love but a Michigan Man wouldn’t stab a guy in an alley. A Buckeye would, but not a Michigan Man.

As work of cinema we have to tell you that ‘The Confidant’, written and directed by Alton Glass, is a complete mess of a movie so filled with befuddling, head scratching events that it really has to be experienced firsthand.

Exactly my point. So bad that you have to watch it. You just gotta.

He also gives Boris way too much dap for his "film presence". There are scenes and lines butchered so bad by Brother Kodjoe that I woke myself in the middle of the night laughing at it in retrospect. I'm actually giggling a little now as I type this.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Tue May 17, 2011 1:41 pm

My best friend used to work with Boris on an ill-fated sitcom back in the early aughts. He said that dude was crazy nice, but his German upbringing made him a step behind in understanding American comedy and emotional connection with the audience. He was basically getting by on being attractive and being able to speak clearly.

Hizzy III · Post by **Hizzy III** » Tue May 17, 2011 2:52 pm

You know, that's a good point, and I guess I should give the man credit for trying to make the adjustment. I imagine that is a challenge, having to learn the emotional disposition for an entirely different culture or audience.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Tue May 17, 2011 3:01 pm

It was most evident when an off-hand Jefferson's reference went right past Dude. I figured he best stick to Tyler Perry films or supporting roles as a love interest in a female-centerd film.

He's like The Rock without the charisma.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Sun May 22, 2011 9:49 am

OK, I watched "Get Him To The Greek" last night. Was expecting total shit and it wasn't that bad. I found myself laughing at many parts, and normally I hate that tall British comedian dude.

PilgrimLI · Post by **PilgrimLI** » Tue May 24, 2011 12:03 pm

This is gonna sound weak but saw Clockers for the first time all the way through last night. I think it's about 15 years old but it holds up pretty well.

As a product of the suburbs, I can't speak with much authority but I thought Spike was a bit unfair with the view of most white cops not giving a crap about life and death in the projects. With the exception of the Harvey Keitel character, the cops seemed too callous.

But what do I know? Just an observation. Great pic though.

Simitar · Post by **Simitar** » Tue May 24, 2011 12:27 pm

Clockers is a very good movie. Its even a better book.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Tue May 24, 2011 1:15 pm

Yeah, I liked back when I saw it. I haven't peeped it in over a decade, though. One thing I will say, don't expect Spike to give too much virtue to the NYPD, especially when filming during the Giuliani era.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:01 pm

100 Greatest Movie Insults...

[youtube]bbIlLmCID5g[/youtube]

Red Bird · Post by **Red Bird** » Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:42 pm

Now, I'm watching an episode of the Rockford Files, and I have to say that the screenwriting for that show is/was very good. I wonder how it would play today with that level of script writing and today's advance film technology.

Rockford FIles would be great in any era, but where you gon'a find actors like that? They had a fantastic cast on that show. And James Garner made Rockford the coolest middle aged white guy ever.

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:36 am

Khal Drogo is a bad motherfucka.

T Dot O Dot · Post by **T Dot O Dot** » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:58 pm

I knew Drogo was going to do some over-the-top-ill-shyt to finish off that dude... that was worthy of mortal kombat

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:25 pm

Apparently, Carrot Top has no degrees to Kevin Bacon...

http://oracleofbacon.org/

It's me Karen · Post by **It's me Karen** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:18 am

Bklyn wrote:Apparently, Carrot Top has no degrees to Kevin Bacon...

http://oracleofbacon.org/

lol

Of course I had to try a few. Even Gabe Kaplan and Larry Storch have links to him.

The Goat Pen

Television and Film - Coca for the Kiddies

Television and Film - Coca for the Kiddies

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