College Football

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Jungle Rat
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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:14 pm

Like I said, Hell.

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Re: College Football

Post by Hizzy III » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:54 pm

Week #4 and the first trimester...

Can you feel it, can you feeel it...

The obscure Jackson Five lyrics out of the way, let's knock out this weekend's picks so that Sporty's lurkin' ass can get the early scoop and be UP, UP, UP!

NC State at Cincinnati, Thursday, September 22, 8:00 PM

Oh, to have Mr. Wilson still at QB. Unfortunately, elgibility rules are elgibility rules, scholarship limits are scholarship limits and well... sometimes you just have to part ways. But even with Wilson, the 'Pack would face a serious challenge, what with defense being made a smidge more suspect than last year and the Bearcats--even in their loss at Tennessee--looking strong on offense once again. State's had a history of losing games like this one on the road, and given the downgrade at QB, that will probably be the case again here. Cat beats dog. Or Bear beats dog. Or some damn thing. Fightin' Dr. Johnny Fevers 34, Not Enough Wolves 24

San Diego State at Michigan, Saturday, September 24, 12:00 PM

Brady Hoke faces his former team in front of 110,000 mostly jobless fans. Las Aztecas come in undefeated and looking very much like a team that can perservere in tough situations, be it on the road or at home. Beating Wazzu last week means a lot more in 2011 than it would have in previous seasons, since the Cougars clearly look like a decent BCS team that could even threaten six wins if they can avoid the turnover bug. Winning at Michigan, however, is going to be the biggest challenge yet for the SoCal'ers. And since the opposing coach is the same guy who actually put together much of the existing SDSU roster, there lies yet another competitive advantange for the home team. SD may have the better weather but Ann Arbor, at least this weekend, has the (slightly) better college team. Meat Chicken 29, Ancient Non-Anglo Warriors 27

North Carolina at Georgia Tech, Saturday, September 24, 12:00 PM

Upheaval and turmoil in Chapel Hill over the last several months were still not enough to give Virginia whatever it needed to pull off the road win against the Cackalackies. But that probably says all that needs to be said about the Commonwealth. Hard to really be moved one way or the other about Powder Blue after that one. A win is a win, however, and in this business, wins = momentum. Unfortunately, a road win in Atlanta this weekend seems to be unlikely for dear old Upper Carol. First, Paul Johnson's triple option looks better already than it did for much of last year, and while Tech still looks weak on D, ball control, homefield and UNC's diminished depth (particulary on D) will probably be the true denominators. Busy Bees 30, Dirty Foots 26

Florida State at Clemson, Saturday, September 24, 3:30 PM

Give the Circus Bear some credit: his team overcame some early obstacles--including a couple of two-touchdown deficits--and wore the defending national champs down. On the plus side, a win versus a ranked opponent is always good. On the other hand, Auburn really wasn't (and obviously isn't) a Top 25 team, not with that defense. Meanwhile, FSU rides into town licking its wounds after getting bruised by the inbreds at home. The Seminoles have the better overall talent and maybe--maybe-the better overall coaching staff, as well as what should be the biggest differentiator: a superior defense. Holding OU to 23 points and harrassing Landry Jones for the better part of four quarters isn't to be ignored. And while Clemson should be commended for holding what appears to be a decent Auburn offense to just 3 points over the final 40 minutes of Saturday's game, they'll only be as good against the spear chuckers as EJ Manuel's ball security will allow. We're going to give EJ the benefit of the doubt this week. Oscillating Osceolas 27, Dabo the Dancing Bear And His Pet Kitty 17

California at Washington, Saturday, September 24, 3:30 PM

If Cal needs OT to win at Colorado, which sucks to merciless degrees, what's to be expected in Seattle, even though the Husky defense sucks to merciless degrees? A team with a bad defense can allow anyone to compete (just recall UW's 40-32 win over Hawaii, which, at the time, seemed like a scrappy bunch until we saw them get blown out by UNLV by 20 last week). Still, the Husky offense can't be ignored, and although it's clear that Nebraska's D has taken a step back, scoring 38 on the road in Lincoln says some pretty loud and poignant things about your squad. Since Cal hasn't proven capable of consistent quality play on the road over the past few years, give the Pudget Sound Puppies the nod here. Seattle's Best 38, NoCal Osos 31

Arkansas at Alabama, Saturday, September 24, 3:30 PM

Actually, Bobby Petrino's a great guy who just didn't handle his exit interview in Atlanta well. He's full of charm, grace, class, sophistication and so on. Which is why he chose Arkansas. And why Arkansas chose him. And so on. Now! If even if we're to actually believe all that and even if it's all true, you have to give the man his due as a college head coach: he's successful. Period. But then again, so is the other head coach, who, with not quite as much disdain and rancor displayed in the media, basically pulled the same thing as did Petrino when he abruptly left the Dolphins. So there it is. Aside from all of that, coaching accolades, personality condemnations and professional etiquette included, the bottom line is much easier to decipher: the Hogs just don't have enough on defense to limit Alabama's O, even without Greg McElroy and Jr. Ingram. And while the Hogs appear to be just as dynamic on offense as last year's Sugar Bowl team, they're still not good enough on that side of the ball to make up the difference on the other side of the ball. Don't expect a blowout, though. In fact, expect the game to be "in doubt" until the last seven or so minutes. Screw the Dolphins 28, Screw the Falcons 21
Last edited by Hizzy III on Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
From the town of Possum's Paw, Alabama, standing 6'2" and weighing 150 lbs, the one, the only, the legend... Bootney Farnsworth.

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:00 pm

Does CBS not replay games on the web anymore?

Oh, and Hizzy, UC Football is doomed. Rethink.

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Re: College Football

Post by Hizzy III » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:13 pm

Continued...

Oklahoma State at Texas A&M, Saturday, September 24, 3:30 PM

Lots of farm equipment on display for this one. And god bless John Deere! In the meantime, as a bonus treat for our fine farmhands and their mates (pets), a pretty damn good football game looms. Both offenses are potent--or have the potential to be potent, unlike the nut tugging guys on the sidelines dressed in their military costumes, who, at this point in their evolution, are probably quite impotent. But I most eagerly digress. Defense is where the scoreboard results will be determined this weekend in Collie Station, and while aggy's not played a full season of great or even good defense in some time, they did begin to show flashes at the end of the 2010 season (minus the Cotton Bowl). At the very least, they look much more competent than their farmer friends from up north. Even with that, I expect the winner to need at least 34 to pull it out. Usually, shootouts favor the home team. We'll go with that notion here as well. Texas State Farm Bureau 37, Oklahoma State Farm Bureau 33

Louisiana State at West Virginia, Saturday, September 24, 8:00 PM

Which is worse: a drunk Cooter or a drunk Coonass? Most will say the latter but I dunno. Lots of creepy stories from back in the day up around Morgantown. West Virginia managed to avoid an epic collapse last Saturday, thanks mostly to Danny O'Brien, who tried his best to pull off an Eli Manning by tossing three interceptions, including one on the Terps potential game winning drive. Clearly, LSU has one of the nation's top defense, and although Jason Lee certainly leaves a lot to be desired as a QB--and even has a tendency to give away the ball as much as O'Brien did for Maryland--he's been in enough tense situations so far this season to where you should have a bit more confidence in him as a game manager in a tough road environment. Do that (manage the game), run the ball and let that defense do what it does best and the Bengals should survive yet another quality OOC contest. Coonasses 21, Coonskin Hat Wearers 16

USC at Arizona State, Saturday, September 24, 10:15 PM

Even in their 38-17 win over mediocre (if not bad) Syracuse, the Trojans looked sloppy at times. AZ State, on the other hand, let a golden opportunity on the road in Champaign slip away thanks to turnovers, penalties and other miscues. The positive is that the Sun Devil defense redeemed itself some after looking shaky and unmotivated at times versus Missouri. They'll need to keep that up this week, because even with their underachieving ways and Kiffin's, well, lack of genius displayed on the sidelines, the Trojans still have a considerable raw talent advantage. We'll give the Devils the nod here but only by a slim margin, and even then... Diablos del Sol 23, Prophylactics 21
From the town of Possum's Paw, Alabama, standing 6'2" and weighing 150 lbs, the one, the only, the legend... Bootney Farnsworth.

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:21 pm

You forgot Tennessee vs. Bye

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Re: College Football

Post by Hizzy III » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:22 pm

Bye by at least 7 until they get that receiver back.
From the town of Possum's Paw, Alabama, standing 6'2" and weighing 150 lbs, the one, the only, the legend... Bootney Farnsworth.

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:25 pm

He ain't coming back this year.

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Re: College Football

Post by THE_WIZARD_ » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:48 pm

Image
THE_WIZARD_. Internet legend and all around good guy. STFU.

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Re: College Football

Post by AugustWest » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:16 pm

Jungle Rat wrote:Does CBS not replay games on the web anymore?

Oh, and Hizzy, UC Football will score 50+ against Mike Archer's lousy defense. Rethink.
fyp.
U*NC is the cleanest most honest athletic program on the planet. I am jealous of their deserved success, and I'm a mewling cunt.

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:24 pm

Not gonna happen.

Stop The Run!

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Re: College Football

Post by crashcourse » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:47 pm

so anybody ever keep score on hizzy's touts?

went to cleveland once--me and the missus were supposed to meet talent for a brew. when he found out I wasn't picking up the tab he no showed.

pittsburgh 34 mannings neck replacement 6

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Re: College Football

Post by Hizzy III » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:56 pm

crashcourse wrote:so anybody ever keep score on hizzy's touts?

went to cleveland once--me and the missus were supposed to meet talent for a brew. when he found out I wasn't picking up the tab he no showed.

pittsburgh 34 mannings neck replacement 6
Week 1: 4-2
Week 2: 7-3

Overall, 11-5.
From the town of Possum's Paw, Alabama, standing 6'2" and weighing 150 lbs, the one, the only, the legend... Bootney Farnsworth.

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Re: College Football

Post by Fifer » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:09 pm

Love 'em or hate 'em ND is still the best looking girl at the dance. Everybody want's ND in their conference.

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Jungle Rat
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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:18 pm

It's too bad this is still NDs fight song.

[youtube]6yB5Dh4F7Es[/youtube]

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Re: College Football

Post by Cats rule » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:07 pm

Jungle Rat wrote:It's too bad this is still NDs fight song.

[youtube]6yB5Dh4F7Es[/youtube]
i always liked prince....much better than jackson

charlie murphy's story on the chappelle show just increased my appreciation

as far as n.d. to the sec? ain't happening...no way they can win enough games in that conference to allow their fans the delusion that they've rebuilt themselves back into a natl. power

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Re: College Football

Post by Bklyn » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:43 pm

I think it was Chris Rock who said if you took a time machine back to 1983 and told someone Michael Jackson would be the one viewed as the crazy, sex scandal-ridden social pariah instead of Prince, that person would smack you.

The race is not always won by the swift...
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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Jungle Rat
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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:43 pm

Id have smacked them either way.

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Re: College Football

Post by TheBigMook » Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:45 pm

Bad mistake. Now they go back in their time machine shoot your daddy the night before you were to be conceived!
THE OG SSG

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:06 pm

The CIA won't even tell me about my real daddy. Good luck..

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Re: College Football

Post by Jungle Rat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:55 pm

Seems some Bengals like the weed.

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