Uncle Bud

[Jungle Rat]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.gq.com ... cement/amp

[hedge]

Women seem wicked when you're unwanted...

[eCat]

I went to a real Ramen place last night. The guy that suggested it said I didn't know what real Ramen was like

well, from my perspective real Ramen is very similar to the shit ramen, they just put an egg , pork belly and a cook it in a broth instead of water - and then charge you $17 for it

oh, and a robot brought it out us that had an Japanese anime voice that giggled alot.

[DooKSucks]

So, you got hard thinking about Japanese anime porn at a family dinner, huh?

[eCat]

it was a work dinner so that's ok

[hedge]

So, you got hard thinking about Japanese anime porn at a family dinner, huh?

Hey, his kids went of a cruise together...

[Jungle Rat]

Was it an IB cruise?

[Jungle Rat]

img_1_1643689214255.jpg (68.97 KiB) Viewed 587 times

[eCat]

its been strange week.

me, my brother and my sister are grappling with putting my mom in a nursing home knowing that is where she will spend the rest of her life.

My sister took her to a rehab place and they essentially abused her - I won't get into the details here but I will say the guy that helped her get in the car after she called my sister up and demanded to come home said "this place is horrible, I am quitting, don't recommend it to anyone".

So now I am going to go spend a week or more with her while we fix up her place to see if she can manage without monitoring while she is awake. Building ramps, handrails, putting a dorm fridge by the bed, setting up alexa to turn on lights, that sort of thing

I remember the day my grandfather decided to sell his farm and move in with us because he couldn't take care of himself and seeing him cry, just sob at the thought of walking away from what he loved and realizing his life was winding down. Now I'm having to face that with my mom and the idea of putting her in a home is killing me, but I'm 5 hours away, my brother is 4, my sister is almost 70 and is taking care of her full time. Its not fair to ask her to.

Just a tough situation.

[hedge]

Damn man, sorry to hear that...

[Jungle Rat]

The life alert necklace gave my mom a few extra years of living alone with confidence. Plus a few other things like a stair lift, recliner that lifts, etc.

[sardis]

I didn't have to go through that due to my father dying at a young age and my mother, who still could function and drive at 83, had a heart attack while sleeping. But I did see it with my grandmother who went kicking and screaming at 94 and was getting alzheimer's. I hope your mother will understand if you decide that the home is the best place for her.

I told my wife to go ahead and put me in the home if I become a burden. She says no way she would ever do it. I'm pretty sure she'll change her mind when the time comes. I think the terrible thing for me is when they tell me I can't drive anymore. After that, watching tv and surfing the internet is the same at home as it is at THE home.

[Jungle Rat]

Can someone tell e I said that

[DooKSucks]

I'm so sorry, e. I wish I had more I could say to soothe, but I know it's tough and words won't do shit.

[BigRedMan]

Ecat - We went through the same situation with my mother. I'm sure you have seen me post stuff with her on Facebook. She was living in her own apartment and on Christmas eve she fell and couldn't get up. My older drunk brother who lived closer than I did, checked on her Xmas morning, and she had laid there all night. It was an awful situation. At that point we decided we had to do something. So my sister, who has a hard time keeping her shit together, wanted her to live with her and that she would help her. Between her daughter and herself, they did an okay job. She got to the point with her Parkinson disease that she struggled to walk and they had a hard time getting her in and out of the bathroom and such. They were able to do it for about 2 years but it was always tense, all three of them bitchy, and limited on what they could. My mother finally decided she wanted to go into a nursing home because it was at a point she needed professional help. The nursing home she got into are run by the Masons as her father was a Mason. It was the best decision for her and us. She is cared for and taken care of. Has it been perfect? Hell no. Shit has gone missing from the room (police scanner) and little food items we left here. However, some of the other shit shows we have seen, she could be worse off. It is a tough decision but if you do the research with the state on their inspections, catch family members of other families while they are visiting and talking to them, you can get a sense of how the place is run. Also, anything run by Trilogy Health Services (used to work there about 12 years ago), used to be top notch. I am sure they still are as they always build nice facilities. They should have plenty around the Kentucky / Cincy area.

It is tough but you have to look at quality of life and the first few weeks / months can be tough but if she active with people, she will love it and get a routine that she will enjoy.

[Jungle Rat]

I hear ya sardis. Going quickly is my wish.

Shaddup hedge

[Jungle Rat]

How does DS sooth?

[innocentbystander]

Next door neighbor came up with a brilliant idea. Its kind of Golden-Girls-ish but maybe not. His mom was a widow and had a house in Scottsdale (free and clear, no mortgage) and she had 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. 1 bath was common to the whole house and the two other baths were private each to a bedroom. She kept falling down and needed help, he was over her house all the time as she couldn't afford a home healthcare aid. Well, he moved his mom's two best friends into the house with her (they were also widows.) Those two widows sold their own homes and put the cash in the bank. Then the widows who moved in, they didn't pay rent. Instead, they paid for a home healthcare aid to live in the house (4th bedroom with a private bath.) That aid took care of all three of the widows. Fed, them, washed them, wiped their ass, and made sure the house was neat and clean and safe. And really this was just a young girl who was going to community college that was working on her RN. In exchange, she got free room, free board, free tuition (paid by the widows) and it was very affordable for everyone.

That worked out until she graduated and then they got another one. Don't know the story on number 2.

[DooKSucks]

My mother and I don't have much of a relationship, but I am sure my less than helpful half-sister and the bastard child from her teenage years who has shown up again won't be around to do a damn thing for my mother. I don't think I would go to her funeral, but I am not common enough to let a human being suffer. So, I do worry about finding a good home for her.

Granted, that's assuming the lunatic asshole my mother married dies before her. He has a few years on her. So, I'm sure he will go first. Plus, my mother is the type who will hang on for a long time out of spite.

So, I will get the pleasure of trying to find somewhere for her to live and getting everything situated for a horrible human being who decided that she hates my wife and I one day in late 2019 and who calls every few months or so just to scream how much she hates my wife and I, how my wife is a bitch, etc. and then tries to act normal and carry on a conversation.

I don't care if CameronCrazy reads this (I think he comes in and peruses things from time to time). He's actually a decent person, but his wife (my half sister) is a horrible human being and a sycophant. The 55 year old bastard from my mother's teenage years is back in the picture and I think she is an even worse human and even more of a sycophant.

So, as always, I will be the one to take responsibility, receive no credit, be fussed at, told how I did something wrong, etc., all while the others sit on their asses.

Oh yeah, let's not forget that my mother has told me that my father's family home -- that my grandfather built and to which my father added onto and remodeled -- is being split between my non-bastard half-sister and myself, despite the fact that the farm was only deeded to include my mother in tenants by the entirety for a specific financial purpose and with the understanding all of the farm would go to me in the will. My mother even told me she was doing it because she hates my wife and is angry with me. Then I was told that any money left over -- which won't be a huge amount but would be decent amount -- will not go to me because I "don't deserve anything." It’s not that I need / want it, but it’s the insult that bothers me.

Sorry for venting. I went through a box of stuff my mother dropped off at my doorstep last year last night. I couldn't bring myself to do it for a long time because I thought it was pictures of my father and some of his belongings. I have nothing to do with my mother because of what she has said and done and because she refuses to apologize to my wife, but it really hurt when I realized that she had removed every picture of my father, my wife and me from that house, my father's family house.

[innocentbystander]

DS, I am sorry. That sucks

So, as always, I will be the one to take responsibility, receive no credit, be fussed at, told how I did something wrong, etc., all while the others sit on their asses.

This is always the responsibility of the most responsible of the adult children. Perhaps as little as 100 years ago, it might have been the main reason why people (who didn't live on a farm) even bothered to have children.