Uncle Bud

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:30 pm

I wonder how many of these Rat has participated in?

The 10 Grossest Sex Acts as Described By Urban Dictionary

https://jezebel.com/the-10-grossest-sex ... 1627699479

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:33 pm

...and how many he participated with you.

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:39 pm

6. 3 with hedge

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:56 pm

Finally figured out what POF means. Plenty Of Fat. DS must be an investor.

Tree · Post by **Tree** » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:19 pm

Jungle Rat wrote:Finally figured out what POF means. Plenty Of Fat. DS must be an investor.

My wife caught me with the POF app on my phone a few months ago. It's hard to explain exactly why I downloaded it. I didn't understand myself until I took a gander at the plump young thing who had taken the liberty of filling out "dominatrix" in her occupation field (yes we all lie on our resume a little bit, I realize). Funny thing is I accidentally showed it to her. I dropped the little lady off at the grocery store to get some wine or something, pulled into a parking spot and quietly got down to doing what is really important, i.e., checking out local babes not named "Annie". I don't remember why or how but I somehow managed to throw my phone down with said hottie's face up and go frantically speeding across the lot to make dearest's walk a little easier. Everything was fine and I had completely forgotten about jr's new love interest until she looked down at my seatbelt and casually muttered "she's cute." I've been spending every day since wondering when the knife or draino in my drink will come. I'm actually at peace with it. I caught my better half cheating with an ex from college several times now but somehow this is much, much worse. If you guys don't hear from me ever again you will know what happened.

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:21 pm

Lmao

Tree wrote:
Jungle Rat wrote:Finally figured out what POF means. Plenty Of Fat. DS must be an investor.
My wife caught me with the POF app on my phone a few months ago. It's hard to explain exactly why I downloaded it. I didn't understand myself until I took a gander at the plump young thing who had taken the liberty of filling out "dominatrix" in her occupation field (yes we all lie on our resume a little bit, I realize). Funny thing is I accidentally showed it to her. I dropped the little lady off at the grocery store to get some wine or something, pulled into a parking spot and quietly got down to doing what is really important, i.e., checking out local babes not named "Annie". I don't remember why or how but I somehow managed to throw my phone down with said hottie's face up and go frantically speeding across the lot to make dearest's walk a little easier. Everything was fine and I had completely forgotten about jr's new love interest until she looked down at my seatbelt and casually muttered "she's cute." I've been spending every day since wondering when the knife or draino in my drink will come. I'm actually at peace with it. I caught my better half cheating with an ex from college several times now but somehow this is much, much worse. If you guys don't hear from me ever again you will know what happened.

Dave23 · Post by **Dave23** » Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:40 pm

Tree wrote:
Jungle Rat wrote:Finally figured out what POF means. Plenty Of Fat. DS must be an investor.
My wife caught me with the POF app on my phone a few months ago. It's hard to explain exactly why I downloaded it. I didn't understand myself until I took a gander at the plump young thing who had taken the liberty of filling out "dominatrix" in her occupation field (yes we all lie on our resume a little bit, I realize). Funny thing is I accidentally showed it to her. I dropped the little lady off at the grocery store to get some wine or something, pulled into a parking spot and quietly got down to doing what is really important, i.e., checking out local babes not named "Annie". I don't remember why or how but I somehow managed to throw my phone down with said hottie's face up and go frantically speeding across the lot to make dearest's walk a little easier. Everything was fine and I had completely forgotten about jr's new love interest until she looked down at my seatbelt and casually muttered "she's cute." I've been spending every day since wondering when the knife or draino in my drink will come. I'm actually at peace with it. I caught my better half cheating with an ex from college several times now but somehow this is much, much worse. If you guys don't hear from me ever again you will know what happened.

I don't even know how to process this. Several? How many strikes does she get?

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:35 pm

yea. I mean at first I was like TMI

but then I remembered that's what we do here

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:42 pm

He should fuck her best friend. I would. And tape it.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Jul 19, 2018 3:46 pm

[img2][/img2]

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Mon Jul 23, 2018 9:45 am

"I don't even know how to process this. Several? How many strikes does she get?"

Unlimited, if she lets him watch...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:47 pm

someone here used the line "just leave the keys in her when you're done" awhile back.

that line does not go over well in group settings with your spouse

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Mon Aug 13, 2018 5:09 pm

[youtube]yCrKjZrg-eA[/youtube]

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:05 pm

[img2][/img2]

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:43 am

If I was going to endorse something, I think I'd endorse podiums. That's a product I can really stand behind...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:44 am

Otis Elevator Co. asked me to come up with a slogan for their marketing campaign. I came up with "Otis elevators: They never let you down." They didn't like it...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:46 am

You know a good place to start the war on terror would be? Haunted houses...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:46 am

My boss wanted me to sign up for the company's 401K, but I told him I didn't think I could run that far...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:47 am

You know what happens when you miss a day at cosmetology school? You have to take a make-up class...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:48 am

Did you hear about the prize fighter who broke his hand on the refrigerator he won on Price Is Right?

The Goat Pen

Uncle Bud

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