Uncle Bud

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Mar 17, 2016 10:57 pm

Great idea, replace anger with terror...

Saint · Post by **Saint** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:30 am

That terror came from eCat thinking how bad his old man would have whipped his ass for making such a rookie mistake.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:55 am

Saint wrote:That terror came from eCat thinking how bad his old man would have whipped his ass for making such a rookie mistake.

oh man I would have runoft after that just to avoid taking a beating

sardis · Post by **sardis** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 7:14 am

You kind of remind me of my son who decided the perfect place for him to do his first oil change was in my garage...

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 7:52 am

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 8:01 am

sardis wrote:You kind of remind me of my son who decided the perfect place for him to do his first oil change was in my garage...

I can remember my old man dismantling the lawn mower on our living room floor

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 8:21 am

Was All In The Family on the TV?

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 9:30 am

Hilarious run of posts.

DooKSucks · Post by **DooKSucks** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 3:22 pm

I once tried to flush out my jet ski motor after pulling it out of the river. I was 12 or 13. I didn't see a kink in the hose and kept revving the engine trying to get water to start going through. My dad ran outside and started throwing shit at me and cursing at me so bad that people were doing the awkward stare and then walking by in a hurried fashion while hanging their heads. That type of shit happened all of the time. He could be the most loving, kind-hearted person on earth, and then he could be the most vicious bastard ever.

Hell, in third grade, I learned how to forge his signature. For the first 4-5 weeks of school, my parents thought I was staying out of trouble because I was signing the weekly discipline reports by copying his name. The teacher never caught it (Mrs. San Frantello was a lying cunt who hated my guts...I hope she is being mistreated in a nursing home by some Kathy Bates looking bitch) because I had it down to a science. However, when progress reports went out, a parent teacher conference was requested. When I got off of the bus and called him, he asked about the progress report and realized something was wrong due to my hesitation. He then came home and beat the living shit out of me. He took the metal end of this giant flyswatter that had a brass handle (not that flimsy clothes hanger shit), made me drop my pants and underwear, bent me over his recline and beat the living fuck out of me. If I cried or screamed, he would hit harder telling me to take it like a man because I was getting only what I deserved. The bruising and marks were so bad my mom nearly killed him when she saw them, and I believe that if she had a gun nearby, she would have shot him. She sent me back to my room and I heard her scream and curse him out for a long fucking time. She then came back to my room, lectured me, told me I was going to be grounded for three days (original punishment was three weeks) and told me I couldn't lift my shirt or let anyone see my butt or the back of my legs for a while. Heck, I was excited. I thought to myself, "I'll take a beating every time I get in trouble if it means I won't be grounded!"

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 3:28 pm

I was going to say "I wish somebody would whip your ass with a brass fly swatter", but, well, they already did. Damn...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 3:30 pm

"people were doing the awkward stare and then walking by in a hurried fashion while hanging their heads."

In fairness, I'm sure you were already well familiar with that reaction from others on any given day...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:53 am

Dialect quiz:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013 ... .html?_r=0

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:06 pm

Lexington Kentucky
Montgomery Alabama

pretty good

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:08 pm

Lexington Kentucky
Montgomery Alabama

pretty good

I think it was carra-mel that gave it away

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:18 pm

I was Montgomery/Mobile/Birmingham...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:18 pm

What differentiates Mobile from Montgomery? Crawfish?

aTm · Post by **aTm** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:21 pm

http://nyti.ms/1RfrKsu

Bklyn · Post by **Bklyn** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:31 pm

Philly/Washington/Baltimore

Spot on...even though I've now lived in NYC longer than I have lived in any of those areas.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:46 pm

What do y'all call the sandwich? It's "sub" around here...

Jungle Rat · Post by **Jungle Rat** » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:56 pm

Cincinnati/Columbus/Detroit. That sucks.

The Goat Pen

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