Uncle Bud

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:25 pm

eCat,

I don't remember. Did you catch the ex with the guy or did she come clean/just ask for a divorce?

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:20 am

AA twists the knife...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:49 am

I didn't catch them in the act but I did find out about it because she kept a journal I found while going thru our closet.

pretty typical -after reading it I decided that I was going to have to whup this guys ass, so I drive out to where they worked and it was a about an hours drive - whats funny is I remember I was so pragmatic about it. It was a Friday and I figured if I get arrested that day I would be back at work no later than Tuesday. I get there - barge in , not knowing what the guy looked liked and tracked her down demanding that she take me to him. From another guy I found out where he is and I go after him. Meanwhile they call him on the radio (this was a paper mill) and tell him I'm there to kick his ass so he hides somewhere - I don't know and by now she is following me around telling me - not to go home - but how her new man isn't afraid of me.

After about 20 minutes of trespassing around this place , 3 of her/his co-workers show up and let me know its time to leave. By then I guess I had cooled off and left, found a pay phone, called the guys wife, she wasn't home but left a message on their answering machine letting her know he was porking my wife. I heard later on he shit his pants when he found out I did that, ran out from work to make a mad dash home to erase the message but the wife was waiting for him.

anti-climatic ending but the feeling I had - once I had committed that I'm not worried about the consequences - it was pretty addictive, you don't get to feel like that too often in life

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:05 am

Excellent. Several follow-ups:

Were you cheating on her at the time? So did the ex and the pool boy ever get together after you split? No kids with the ex? Do you ever see/talk to her? If so, do you ever flaunt your success (obviously you have a comfortable, non-blue collar life)? Do you ever regret not finding a way to have the physical showdown with the paper mill lothario?

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:25 am

As an aside, I have personally witnessed a vicious fight between two guys over a cheating wife. Lotsa hard hits/kicks/biting, and the lothario was winning, but pulled a flathead screwdriver out from somewhere to stab the guy, apparently. The guy with the cheating wife screamed "Nooooo!" And wrestled the screwdriver away and stuck it all the way to the hilt in the lotharios's butt cheek - which took the fight completely out of the lothario. He was hunched over, in pain, and the guy kneed him in the faced, which knocked him out.

So the winner comes up to the now unconscious guy, unzips, says a few things that I couldn't understand and begins to try to urinate on the knocked-out guy. That's when the spectators stepped in and stopped him. Because you can about kill each other, bite, kick, hit, knee, stab someone with a screwdriver, and knock someone clean out, but urination is a line that we won't let you cross.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:49 am

nah - never cheated, that's not for me. I'd don't like the whole having to keep up with your lies side of it.

they dated for awhile after the divorce but I'm not sure when they broke it off. He had a ski-boat so I'm sure she stayed with him thru the following summer. Shortly after the divorce I moved to Cinci and didn't hear from her again until a mutual friend had a heart attack and died. I didn't bother to ask her if she was still with him.

About 4 years ago I contacted her via facebook because I had some stuff that her father gave me including a 1930's era Crosley radio - it probably was worth $300 as an antique but her old man saved his pennies to buy it, held onto it his whole life and gave it to me shortly after we were married as just a conversation piece, so it had sentimental value. He also gave me a toolbox full of vacuum tubes and spare parts to keep it working. I lugged that heavy sumbitch all over the with me for about 12 years, and eventually asked myself why I have this thing. Her father died within a year of our divorce and I figured she would want it so I met her at the house of the friend who died (his wife is still there) and brought it to her.

We had a chance to talk and her life is good. I'm sure she inherited some serious money from her old man - he had 800 acres and was a big player in cattle when he died and they sold the farm.

Her kids are cute but they fat little dough balls just like her momma so that gives me some quiet satisfaction. She still looks good though. But I don't have to delve to far into that because it doesn't take long for me to remember she had the hairiest snatch of any woman I've ever known including a belly sideburn that went all the way up to her belly button and she refused to trim or shave it while we were married. Maybe the current husband likes that sort of thing or convinced her to get a no-no.

She wanted to hang out more and talk, even ended up asking me to let her know when I was back in town but its not worth trying to explain to my wife why I'd want to meet my ex for dinner one night just to catch up. I did want a chance to bring up that I still have the home made porn tape we made (now converted to DVD with menus and soundtrack) but it didn't get to that point. I wanted to see what her reaction was when I told her I still have it.

(and if you're wondering, yes my wife knows about it but hasn't seen it)

I doubt I'll ever see or talk to her again unless some common tragedy happens to us.

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:53 am

A man at peace with the past is a cool thing to see. Well done. And the fat kids aren't yours, correct?

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:54 am

Oh, and let me add the obligatory: 'post the porn tape here' line....

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:55 am

"I didn't catch them in the act but I did find out about it because she kept a journal I found while going thru our closet. "

Did you jack off when you came to the good part?

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:55 am

oh, and no, I now regret showing up to the place and making an ass of myself

I should have handled it with more composure. Would never happen today in those circumstances. You'd have to physically hurt my wife or kids to get that kind of reaction out of me now.

But as strange at is sounds, I have never felt more...I don't know...alive? than at that moment when all I wanted to do was kill this fucker even if it meant jail, losing my job (yes and yes because I was a contractor for that company at the time) or even getting the shit beat out of me (quite likely due to all his friends there) - none of that mattered - I didn't just accept it, I wanted it - it was scorched earth time for me - as far as I was concerned, I was past the place of things ever being like it was, so why not just go balls out and finish what she started?

now I just shake my head at me acting like that.

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:59 am

"but the feeling I had - once I had committed that I'm not worried about the consequences - it was pretty addictive, you don't get to feel like that too often in life"

Unless you're a crackhead...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:00 am

"whats funny is I remember I was so pragmatic about it. It was a Friday and I figured if I get arrested that day I would be back at work no later than Tuesday...."

"they dated for awhile after the divorce but I'm not sure when they broke it off. He had a ski-boat so I'm sure she stayed with him thru the following summer. "

Evidently your pragmatism rubbed off on your ex...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:01 am

AlabamAlum wrote:A man at peace with the past is a cool thing to see. Well done. And the fat kids aren't yours, correct?

no the fat kids are hers.

but lets be honest, I'm not bitter because I have a pretty cool wife now - much better than my ex in every regard that matters to me, I make more money than I ever thought I would, I have two kids I'm proud of and I have a job I like getting up and going into every day.

Now if I was living in a trailer, working some dead end job, married to a fat toothless bitch that gave me an STD from her junkie ex boyfriend, then I'd probably be...well...IB?

my best friend always thought my ex was hot so he begged me to show him the tape, which I thought was too weird to watch his best friend humping some woman so I took stills from the movie, edited myself out and sent him an email with a picture of her

I'm certain he rubbed one out over it. Personally it wouldn't bother me to show you guys a picture of her from it, but in this day and age, I can't take the chance that these little fat kids might see their momma naked on the internet - at least from my doing.

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:01 am

hedge wrote:"I didn't catch them in the act but I did find out about it because she kept a journal I found while going thru our closet. "

Did you jack off when you came to the good part?

no I'm pretty sure I threw our wedding album in the fireplace

and yes, we were both very pragmatic people - midwestern lutherans tend to be that way

AlabamAlum · Post by **AlabamAlum** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:05 am

I think I like the term 'Paper Mill Lothario' better than pool boy. Do you know what happened to him, btw?

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:08 am

"I should have handled it with more composure. Would never happen today in those circumstances. You'd have to physically hurt my wife or kids to get that kind of reaction out of me now."

What about emotionally?

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:10 am

"But as strange at is sounds, I have never felt more...I don't know...alive? than at that moment when all I wanted to do was kill this fucker"

I would guess Fight Club is definitely in your top 10 movies...

eCat · Post by **eCat** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:11 am

he got fired , not because of me, but because his wife #3 who heard the message from me raised so much hell with him and my ex that the company decided he was a distraction.

Apparently she was mistress when he was with wife #2 and he swore that he'd never do that to her and she agreed to have a child with him. Then one day you come home to hear an angry redneck on your answering machine

[youtube]wgNkjv1z6Mg[/youtube]

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:14 am

"I think I like the term 'Paper Mill Lothario' better than pool boy."

Yes, but the die is cast at this point. "Paperboy" might've worked, too...

hedge · Post by **hedge** » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:16 am

"Personally it wouldn't bother me to show you guys a picture of her from it, but in this day and age, I can't take the chance that these little fat kids might see their momma naked on the internet - at least from my doing."

Damn, you are truly a stand-up guy. It's rare to see an expression of such bald, unmitigated morality in here...

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