La Salle Explorers

[eCat]

to mere there is a certain comfort in knowing I have a seat number assigned to me before I get on the plane

[Saint]

even if it's a shitty seat number? that's loser talk

[eCat]

well I'm not sure what qualifies as a shitty number - I like an aisle seat in the front half of the plane. Unless I'm buying the ticket late, I can usually land that without much effort.

[Saint]

that's the point with SW. you can buy early and check in and get the good seat

[hedge]

You can usually get the exit row seat if you request it at the gate. Also, I almost always grab any window seat if it's available...

[eCat]

I hate window seats. I always get some fat woman in the middle seat and I'm ready to climb the walls by takeoff

[AlabamAlum]

The aisle seats have a problem, too: there is always some dude or old, fat woman who puts ass or crotch in your face so that they can spend 20 minutes trying to jam a bag into the overhead bin.

[eCat]

The aisle seats have a problem, too: there is always some dude or old, fat woman who puts ass or crotch in your face so that they can spend 20 minutes trying to jam a bag into the overhead bin.

and the beverage cart knocks the shit out of your shoulder

[Jungle Rat]

Window seat. Always.

[eCat]

I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front
door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking
back, I really should have run, but you don't get offers like that every
day.

~ ~ ~

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, but I just got out of jail.
I was locked up for punching the f*ck out of this idiot at a party. In my
defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10 your instincts kick in.

~ ~ ~

My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I am coming or going.

"I said to her, 'Judging by the look on your face, you're going, 'cus when
you're coming you look like a f*cking Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!"

~ ~ ~

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some
money. Last night I f*cked a girl called Penny. Is that spooky or what?

~ ~ ~

The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip, do you think about
me?"

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right
answer.

~ ~ ~

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black
orphans. I said, "F*ck that! Knowing my luck, I'd win one!"

~ ~ ~


I went to the doctor's office the other day and found out that my new
doctor is young, female and drop dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed, but
she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before.
Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out.

I said, "My wife thinks that my dick tastes funny."

~ ~ ~

I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message
claiming that she loves anal. Then I realized that she is a dyslexic
b*tch and that she was trying to say she loves Alan, my best friend.

~ ~ ~
(for Stu)
A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and
suddenly yells, "No! No! Don't enter that church, you damn fool."

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our wedding video."

~ ~ ~

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper."

"Don't be silly," she said. "Here, use my iPad."

That f*ckin' spider never knew what hit it.

~ ~ ~

I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform, but she says
she doesn't like it, it makes her sleepy and her butt sore

[hedge]

But you also get the semi-hot stewardess who purposely (in my mind, anyway) grazes her ass on your shoulder every time she goes by...

[hedge]

Boy only trip was the best one...

[Saint]

Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle was the best.

[Saint]

But you also get the semi-hot stewardess who purposely (in my mind, anyway) grazes her ass on your shoulder every time she goes by...

That's like when you a chick cuts your hair and pushes her pussy up against your hand on the armrest of the chair when she leans over to take a snip off.

[AlabamAlum]

Heh.

[eCat]

But you also get the semi-hot stewardess who purposely (in my mind, anyway) grazes her ass on your shoulder every time she goes by...

That's like when you a chick cuts your hair and pushes her pussy up against your hand on the armrest of the chair when she leans over to take a snip off.

oh man that reminds me, our dentist in our hometown hired a girl from school, Rhonda M**** as a dental assistant. This dentist had been me and my best friends dentist since we were kids so going there was kind of routine, but John my friend told me that I needed to get my teeth cleaned now that Rhonda worked there. So I go, for the sole purpose of having Rhonda dry hump me while she cleaned my teeth.

She didn't disappoint. Not sure how long she worked there but I only did it once, I think I was like 19. Probably had to change underwear afterwards. Apparently that was just her thing, if she liked you, she'd dry hump you while she cleaned your teeth. I should have like eaten caramel or something just to make it last longer. Hell at 19, who am I kidding, I was probably ready for a nap after 2 minutes of her doing it.

damn, I have a chubby now just thinking about that. I'm looking her ass up on facebook now.

[eCat]

found her!

[AlabamAlum]

Post pics.

[eCat]

she hasn't aged well - keep in mind she was maybe at the most 21 back then



she's probably be aghast knowing I'm telling stories about her dry humping me at the dentist office.

[hedge]

I appreciate your starting a new paragraph with "She didn't disappoint"...