The Eighth Week of 2011…
For most teams, we’re beyond the halfway mark of the 2011 seasons. It’s almost over just as quickly as it began. In fact, for others (like Skippy Neuheisel), the season may be over even sooner. Regardless, we’ll try to improve upon last week’s mediocre 6-4 showing. It’s the least we could do (the very least).
West Virginia at Syracuse, Friday, October 21, 8:00 PM
On the way in to work this morning, there was a discussion on the radio about the value of playing Friday night college games (that is, among the FBS folks). Yeah, yeah, you don’t put Ohio State versus USC on a Friday night but we’re still talking the potential for some decent games to watch if you don’t have any real plans for the evening. West Virginia at Syracuse from, say, fifteen years ago would certainly qualify as a decent Friday night battle. Today, maybe not as much. Sure, SU is coming off a bowl season and are 4-2 through the midway point of 2011 but look at that record a little more closely: wins over Wake Forest, Rhode Island, Toledo and Tulane. The Wake and Toledo wins seem okay, even if they were at home and by the skin of the teeth. But the wins over Rhode Island and the near loss to Tulane speak to something more troubling if you’re an SU fan. Don’t expect to be getting too far over four wins this year, even in the dwindling Big East. As for West Virginia… they’re obviously the better team, regardless of how legit the Orange’s 4-2 record is. John Denver’s Home State 35, Three More Weeks To Boeheim 20
Cincinnati at South Florida, Saturday, October 22, 12:00 PM
Here’s a story about two teams going in opposite directions. The Bearcats have rattled off four straight wins since their deflating 45-23 loss in Knoxville. Meanwhile, USF, which came out looking like the Big East’s #1 team after four weeks, has lost two in a row and has managed just 27 points in those losses. One of those was a gruesome 16-10 setback to rebuilding UConn. That’s bad enough, if you’re Skip Holtz. But it’s even worse when, just the week before, you allowed Pitt’s crappy offense to drop 44 on what’s supposed to be a quality defense. Yuck. USF had better find an offense quick, because even with a quality defense, they’ll probably need to score at least 28 to win. We have serious doubts, though. PJ Daniels looks like he’s hit his ceiling already. Los OsosGatos 27, Toro, Toro! 20
North Carolina at Clemson, Saturday, October 22, 12:00 PM
There’s a danger that by the second half, many Tarheel fans will be tuning the game out in favor of their most coveted reruns from Mayberry RFD, even if Ken Berry has about the same charisma in comparison to Don Knotts as Tiny Lister to Chris Tucker. But that’s just one group’s opinion. Anyway, Clemson could be spent from their second half explosion in a win at Maryland (that’s 46 second half points, folks) or maybe the Tigers have finally figured out a way to actually win games that they’re supposed to win, even when they’re not playing like it. If the Tigers aren’t feeling themselves a bit too much then expect the home team to have a joyous go of things, especially given UNC’s obvious offensive limitations. The Dancing Dabos 33, Andy, Barney, Opie & Aint Bea 21
Oklahoma State at Missouri, Saturday, October 22, 12:00 PM
It’s funny that people talk of the Big XII as if it’s some outdated conference gimick. The Cuisinarts of college football or some shit. Just a group of bottom of the barrel, bargain-basement programs. Well, that same turd of a conference currently has four ranked teams, including two in the top 10, and one that’s a definite BCS title contender, and another–that is, the visitors to Columbia this weekend–who could make the turn finally and become one as well. Missouri’s going through a transition period in 2011 with a new QB (James Franklin) and a new OL. Pinkell’s seen mixed results on the field but still plenty to keep him optimistic about the future (unless they decide to become yet another six win team in the SEC). All that’s fine and dandy for the future, but the Tigers don’t have enough to match up with the Cowpoke offense this weekend, even if it that same offense was erratic last week against namby-pamby Texas. Pistols STILL Firing 31, The Third Tiger (of the SEC) 24
Georgia Tech at Miami, Saturday, October 22, 3:30 PM
We saw Paul Johnson’s triple option fall dead at Charlottesville last week, and while we’ll concede that everyone has a bad day at the offense here or there, it’s cause for concern going into their second consecutive road game. Miami’s frustrating as all get out, and it goes beyond the turnover issues with both QBs. Defensively, the Hurricanes lose their focus and struggle to get in the backfield–particularly in the second half of games. That won’t be an issue against Tech, however, as the Jackets throw the ball around about as well as Phyllis Diller pitches online dating services (you don’t wanna know). The question isn’t whether or not Miami can slow down Tech’s ground game (expect at least 300 yards anyway), it’s whether they can walk and chew gum on offense. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, seeing as how Tech isn’t all that great on defense anyway. Merely average. Too Much Wind 30, Rambled Wreck 28
Auburn at LSU, Saturday, October 22, 3:30 PM
CBS has unofficially become the LSU broadcast network, as the Bayou Bengals find themselves apart of the network’s featured broadcast for the third straight week. Auburn, as defending natty champs, might feel slighted that they’ve taken a back seat to a team that may not even win its own conference much less a natty championship this year, but the truth is hard to take sometimes. Especially when you, yourself, are already out of both the SEC and BCS races–and with more losing to come, by the way. Give Auburn credit for the markedly improved defensive play over the last month, but that’s about it. Oh, and don’t be too concerned for LSU in lieu of their recently announced player suspensions. They’re still deeper than Shyla Stylez’s love canal. Cajun Cats 24, Reddish Brown 14
Tennessee at Alabama, Saturday, October 22, 7:00 PM
We were going to handicap the Marshall / Houston game but 1) no one but us, aggy, Spacer and MAYBE crybaby Mook cares about such a game (UH is coming, boy, so suck it up and embrace), and 2) even if more did, Houston’s favored by like 35 points or some shit. Really. Even WE aren’t that desperate to pad our season records. So we’ll settle for a game that should be a bit more competitive. But just a bit more. Tennessee may or may not have to play the Sims kid at QB this year. But even if John Bray was available, does anyone see the Vols scoring more than 14 points in this one? Bama arguably has the best defense in the land and Trent Richardson’s on pace to rush for between 1,800 and 1,900 yards. The game’s in Tuscaloosa. Alabama leads the all-time series by a considerable margin. Saban is a much better coach than Vince’s son (at least for now). And so on and so on and so on and so on… Washing Powder 35, At least Vandy And UK Are Still On The Schedule 10
Wisconsin at Michigan State, Saturday, October 22, 8:00 PM
We predict that by about 8:15 PM EST, Brent Musberger will creme his pants so severely that it’ll be accompanied by a massive stroke that will take away his ability to speak for several months. Or at least we hope that’s the case. The man has to be fired up for this one, right? A Big Ten matchup that will have a big say in who wins what and who goes where by the end of the year. Granted, all indicators suggest that these two will proably be meeting up again in the inaugural Big Ten Title Game but for the time being, Wisky has a lot more riding on this weekend’s outcome, as they are very much in line to appear in their first ever BCS title game if they can win out. The Badger offense could be the most diverse in the country (particularly since they also have one of the most imposing OLs in the nation) but what appears to be the really big difference maker for Bucky’s Boys is on the defensive side, where the Badgers are giving up just 268 yards and 9.7 points per game. The Spartans have–minus the Notre Dame game–shown themselves to be pretty stout on defense as well. The problem is that they don’t have the offensive firepower to keep up with the Badgers, even if the two defenses are able to dictate the flow and pace of things. America’s F’n Dairlyand 27, Sparty 17
Texas Tech at Oklahoma, Saturday, October 22 8:00 PM
If Landry Jones can’t springboard himself into the Heisman lead after facing this wretched triumverate of crappy defenses (Texas, Kansas and now Tech), then it just wasn’t meant to be. The Sooners were surprisingly plain jane and lethargic in a 47-17 win at KU (which says a lot about how bad KU’s defense is). Not horrible. Not even poor. Just lethargic. Ho hum. By the numbers, if you will. Tech offers a chance at redemption, however, as they come in having given up 34 or more points in each of their last four games, including 45 and 41 in consecutive weeks–at home–to conference foes. The Raiders won’t be able to do to the OU defense what they’ve done to their other opponents, so their inability to stop the Sooner offense will be further highlighted. In other OU news, that boy Stills looks like a rooster when he takes his helmet off. Bob should lay the law down and make that boy cut his hair or at least take the goddamn rainbow coloring out. Ass looks like the official logo of some cock fighting league in Cuba.Red Inbred 48, Vive Las Cucarachas! 21
Washington at Stanford, Saturday, October 22 8:00 PM
Kudos for Steve Sarkisian for getting Washington a) to a bowl game for the first time in years last season and b) making the Huskies appear to be a real up and comer in 2011 and beyond. Unfortunately, they’re still not anywhere close to good enough on defense to pull out a win in Palo Alto. Too much of the Stanford offense, on the ground and in the air. Andrew Luck gets plenty of press and will have what we expect to be a great day at the office. On the other side of the ball, the Cardinal D doesn’t get the respect that it should, which is unfortunate but no big deal. Still, expect that Stanford D to be challenged a bit more than it has so far in 2011. Not enough to give up the upset but enough to keep the game interesting for about three quarters. Hi IQs 37, Pups In Training 27
SMU at Southern Mississippi, Saturday, October 22 8:00 PM
The hell you say? A C-USA handicap? Well, why not? This could be a preview of the 2011 C-USA championship game (and maybe the last ever played). SMU’s lone defeat came at aggy, in which starting QB Kyle Padron was benched with an injury and the Ponies failed on at least three scoring opportunities. Not that they would’ve won, but there were plenty of missed opportunities. Since then, the Mustangs have won five straight including wins over TCU and (albeit a declining) Central Florida. Across the aisle, the Golden Eagles are flourishing under former OC Larry Fedora. The Golden Eagles have an early season embarrassment at Marshall that they might have to overcome by year’s end in order to win the C-USA East but they’ve redeemed themselves quite a bit since then with four straight wins, including a win at Virginia and an absolute beatdown of Navy in Annapolis. The Ponies appear to be a bit more stable and reliable on defense, which is extremely important for any road team, but, offensively, their paltry 115 yards a game on the ground is a big concern, especially against a team like USM that is far more balanced. Golden Get Down 34, Where’s Dickerson And James When You Need Them 30
FOR THE RECORD:
6-4 (last week)
39-20 (Season)