UCLA Bruins

The Forum Without Decorum.

Moderators: eCat, hedge, Cletus

User avatar
It's me Karen
Junior
Posts: 659
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:00 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Michigan
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Big Cat/Tiger/Lion/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by It's me Karen » Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:45 am

Good story, BRM. I remember always thinking, "How can they not have any food in that house?" lol

Herman's Head was a good one. I loved that big guy in his head.

User avatar
hedge
Legend
Posts: 26056
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by hedge » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:37 pm

"I am thinking to myself, are you serious? Shit son, trade me lives for a few days and we will see if you want to live like Al."

I thought you were going to say "Shit son, trade lives with me for a few days and see what it's like to live on Jupiter"...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

User avatar
Bklyn
All-American
Posts: 8254
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:08 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Howard
Preferred Barbecue Style: Tomato!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The County of Kings

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Bklyn » Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:35 pm

So, my best friend is a producer in Hollywood and he emailed me this today...I figured you all would enjoy:
So a few months ago [The Wife] did some sound work for this little play for this little theater company downtown. The play was horrible; and, I'm not being a proud husband by saying that [The Wife]'s sound work was, by far, the best thing about the play. But the next best thing about the play was the female lead: a buxom, Irish transplant with big brown eyes and dark features who, depending on the lighting, could pass for [a woman of many different ethnicities].


Now, after the play (this was the opening night) there was a really modest party in the lobby where the friends and spouses of everyone involved in the play turned out. Small play, not too many people there. After introducing me to the actress, [The Wife] got pulled away by the director leaving me with the the actress' friend, Carly, also an actress. Carly was good looking in an accessible way that guys really go for: great smile, fit body, and well put together without looking unapproachable. But what I discovered from talking to her was that her personality put her way over the top. Carly was a great listener. And standing barely a foot away from me with her shoulders square with mine, laughing at all my jokes, she definitely made me feel like the only person in the room. I've learned, her being an actress, not to read too far into the attention. They're that way with everybody. So when it's time to go, Carly and I thank each other for the great conversation and that's that.


And that was the last time I thought about Carly--until the day I get see this link of photos and a video from Esquire Magazine (below) that feature Carly modeling in her underwear (which includes a thong and a see through top). Not bad, Carly. Not bad. She's had a few notable bit parts including a topless scene in Role Models, a movie I saw and liked prior to meeting her that night. But that's L.A. You can wind up having a great conversation with a woman at a party who you've seen naked in a movie. After all these years I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
http://www.esquire.com/women/me-in-my-p ... 12#slide-2
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

User avatar
hedge
Legend
Posts: 26056
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by hedge » Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:39 pm

I thought of an idea for a Punk'd type of show. Get a guy to set up his friend (the dupe) and they go to a bar and have a hot chick (who is obviously in on the prank) start talking to him like she's really into him. Part of the fun is watching the guy getting all big-headed thinking he's a stud and listening to the bullshit lines he feeds the chick (who, as part of the prank, eats up everything he says and leads him on even more). Then, the guy who sets up his friend comes up with some reason that he HAS to leave, and he HAS to have the friend go with him (somebody is in the hospital, he can't go alone, come up with any scenario you like). The main part of the game is trying to figure out if the guy will be a loyal friend or if he'll blow his friend off to stay with the chick (who by this time has invited him to take her home or some shit). Maybe have a panel in the background observing the whole thing making odds on what the friend is going to do. Of course, when it is revealed that the guy has been punked, he will feel like a fool for all the smarmy shit talking he was doing, esp. when the girl is laughing at him. Best part is the name of the show: Cock Block. The teeny bopper MTV crowd will love it for the name alone...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

User avatar
aTm
Muad'Dib
Posts: 8624
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:25 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Texas A&M
Preferred Barbecue Style: Tomato!
Mascot Fight: Big Cat/Tiger/Lion/Etc
Location: Inner Loop, Houston, TX

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by aTm » Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:41 pm

I only like the idea if you can get Clive Warren to host it.
Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king.

User avatar
Bklyn
All-American
Posts: 8254
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:08 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Howard
Preferred Barbecue Style: Tomato!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The County of Kings

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Bklyn » Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:11 pm

Does the "contestant" win if he is able to hit it in the bathroom real quick before he drives his buddy to the veterinary hospital to pick up his cat's remains?
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

User avatar
aTm
Muad'Dib
Posts: 8624
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:25 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Texas A&M
Preferred Barbecue Style: Tomato!
Mascot Fight: Big Cat/Tiger/Lion/Etc
Location: Inner Loop, Houston, TX

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by aTm » Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:20 pm

Thats how you know you got game. You overcome all obstacles in the cock block Eliminator to bang the chick who thought she was there to make you look like a fool.
Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king.

User avatar
Jungle Rat
The Pied Piper of Crazy
Posts: 29885
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:38 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Florida
Preferred Barbecue Style: Tomato!
Mascot Fight: Croc/Gator/Etc
Location: Crows Parents Basement

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Jungle Rat » Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:42 pm

Hedge just wants other to people to feel the same way he did once.

User avatar
Saint
All-American
Posts: 5025
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 12:53 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Big Cat/Tiger/Lion/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Saint » Tue May 01, 2012 12:05 am

man, I don't need an Esquire spread to see half-clothed versions of chicks. I can pretty much picture nearly any woman I see naked within minutes. sometimes it's a wonderful gift and other times, it's a horrifying burden...

User avatar
hedge
Legend
Posts: 26056
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by hedge » Tue May 01, 2012 12:15 pm

Think how they feel when they see at you bobbling down the avenue...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

User avatar
eCat
Mr. Pissant
Posts: 22988
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:22 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Kentucky
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The mediocre but almost livable city of Cincinnati

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by eCat » Tue May 01, 2012 12:22 pm

Saint wrote:man, I don't need an Esquire spread to see half-clothed versions of chicks. I can pretty much picture nearly any woman I see naked within minutes. sometimes it's a wonderful gift and other times, it's a horrifying burden...

while the women are much more attractive, I'm at a point where I'd rather look at the home made porn pics posted on craigslist casual encounters ads than the professional stuff.

I've come full circle on being jaded - from starting with Playboy and working my way to lesbian strap-on dildo wrestling back to grainy 3X5 girl next door real women with saggy tits, cottage cheese thighs and duck lips taking their picture on a iphone in their bathroom.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

User avatar
eCat
Mr. Pissant
Posts: 22988
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:22 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Kentucky
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The mediocre but almost livable city of Cincinnati

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by eCat » Tue May 01, 2012 12:23 pm

ok, yea you got me, I still watch lesbian strap on wrestling porn, but I'm saying I can now *appreciate* a real woman again.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

User avatar
Dave23
Senior
Posts: 1547
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:43 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Memphis
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Dave23 » Tue May 01, 2012 12:25 pm

You get hooked on that shit, you'll end up jacking it in San Diego...
The older I get the more I pretty much hate every cocksucker that is making decisions in this world and all of the idiots that root for political parties like sports teams. — aTm

User avatar
eCat
Mr. Pissant
Posts: 22988
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:22 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Kentucky
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The mediocre but almost livable city of Cincinnati

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by eCat » Tue May 01, 2012 12:29 pm

Dave23 wrote:You get hooked on that shit, you'll end up jacking it in San Diego...

LOL

yea, no shit, from the other Dave Chappelle thread - that was the Koby guy's Africa moment and he was in the hollywood eye for about 30 minutes.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

User avatar
hedge
Legend
Posts: 26056
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by hedge » Tue May 01, 2012 1:22 pm

"I've come full circle on being jaded - from starting with Playboy and working my way to lesbian strap-on dildo wrestling back to grainy 3X5 girl next door real women with saggy tits, cottage cheese thighs and duck lips taking their picture on a iphone in their bathroom."

When you said "grainy 3X5" I at first thought you were saying granny porn. Although to be fair, that seems to be the next stop on your downward spiral...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

User avatar
hedge
Legend
Posts: 26056
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by hedge » Tue May 01, 2012 1:23 pm

Check out x-art porn...
I want someone's ass blistered in the middle of Thanksgiving Square.

User avatar
eCat
Mr. Pissant
Posts: 22988
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:22 am
College Hoops Affiliation: Kentucky
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc
Location: The mediocre but almost livable city of Cincinnati

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by eCat » Tue May 01, 2012 3:36 pm

hedge wrote:"I've come full circle on being jaded - from starting with Playboy and working my way to lesbian strap-on dildo wrestling back to grainy 3X5 girl next door real women with saggy tits, cottage cheese thighs and duck lips taking their picture on a iphone in their bathroom."

When you said "grainy 3X5" I at first thought you were saying granny porn. Although to be fair, that seems to be the next stop on your downward spiral...
not until I'm like 60.
I like the stinky pinky but only up to the first knuckle, I do not want a GD thumb up there--I've told her multiple times and I always catch her when she tries to pull a fast one---it's my butthole for Chrissakes I'm gonna know--so cut out the BS.

User avatar
crashcourse
Senior
Posts: 3544
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:18 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Kansas State
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Croc/Gator/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by crashcourse » Tue May 01, 2012 3:43 pm

I've deteriorated to LPGA golf especially if gulbis is in the top 10.

User avatar
sardis
All-American
Posts: 6355
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:25 pm
College Hoops Affiliation: Villanova
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Bear/Grizzly/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by sardis » Tue May 01, 2012 4:23 pm

and Brazilian Butt infomercials...

User avatar
Saint
All-American
Posts: 5025
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 12:53 am
College Hoops Affiliation: North Carolina
Preferred Barbecue Style: Vinegar!
Mascot Fight: Big Cat/Tiger/Lion/Etc

Re: UCLA Bruins

Post by Saint » Wed May 02, 2012 1:14 am

eCat wrote:
Saint wrote:man, I don't need an Esquire spread to see half-clothed versions of chicks. I can pretty much picture nearly any woman I see naked within minutes. sometimes it's a wonderful gift and other times, it's a horrifying burden...

while the women are much more attractive, I'm at a point where I'd rather look at the home made porn pics posted on craigslist casual encounters ads than the professional stuff.

I've come full circle on being jaded - from starting with Playboy and working my way to lesbian strap-on dildo wrestling back to grainy 3X5 girl next door real women with saggy tits, cottage cheese thighs and duck lips taking their picture on a iphone in their bathroom.
completely agree. it's a thin line but the flawed, somewhat aged chicks are so much hotter than the centerfold 20-somethings. then again, when you get near a centerfold 20-something, you forget about that other shit.

Post Reply